White mom: Does this train stop at Canal Street?
Black guy: Yeah, it goes there, it goes there. It’s not going there anytime soon. ‘Cause you know what the MTA stands for? Might Take Awhile.
–E train
White mom: Does this train stop at Canal Street?
Black guy: Yeah, it goes there, it goes there. It’s not going there anytime soon. ‘Cause you know what the MTA stands for? Might Take Awhile.
–E train
Gleeful little boy: We will, we will fuck you! We will, we will fuck you! [Bursts into giggles.]
–1 train
Overheard by: caitlinj
Guy: I mean, I wasn’t expecting being fucked, either!
–55th & 8th
Overheard by: Mariah
Guy on cell: You know what? Cleo fucked you, so fuck it — we’re fucked.
–Forest Hills
Tough guy with five-year-old: Hey, buddy! Don’t fucking push me! I’ve got my fuckin’ kid here!
–1 train
Overheard by: wba
Hispanic lady with stroller, on cell: Mothafuckin’ [Spanish]… Fuckin’ asshole [Spanish]… Son of a [Spanish]… Fuckin’ mothafuckin’ [Spanish]… Bunny rabbit [Spanish]… Fuck.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Mike N (doesn’t speak Spanish)
Mom on stoop: Don't you skate too far from the house!
Four-year-old boy on skateboard: Moooooooom! Go insiiiiide the hoooooouse! I don't need you!
Mom neighbor: Did he just tell me to go inside the house? Boy, you just wait till *you* come inside the house!
–Monroe & Franklin, Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: Tigertail
Mother: Honey, put on your shirt. This is a shirt and shoes kind of place.
Small boy: But you let me at home!
–Brooklyn Botanical Garden
Overheard by: Jonathan K.
Chick: Mine is the one that’s not a dead animal.
Mom: The dead animal is mine…Actually, it’s many animals. Many vicious animals. They deserved to die, to keep me warm!
–ViceVersa, West 51st Street
Overheard by: Mic Cruz
Teenage boy in Boston Celtics jacket: Ewww, this is Jackson Heights?
Father: Yeah, I guess so.
Bored tween girl: Can we go back to the hotel, puh-lease?
Mom: Not yet. I want to find where Ugly Betty lives.
–Jackson Heights
Overheard by: Jellobelle
Little kid: Hey, mom, look! You can see the moon!
Ghetto mom: Shut up! You can't see no moon when the sun out. Sit down 'fore I bust yo little ass!
Little kid: But I can see the moon!
Nice older lady to kid: You're right, honey. You can see the moon when the sun is out. The moon is bright because of the sun.
Kid to mom: See, I told you I could see the moon?
Ghetto mom: That bitch lyin'!
–A Train
Overheard by: innocent mta customer
Mom: Eat this first and then you can have your Lucky Charms.
Little boy: No! I hate banana!
Mom: You do not; you were begging me for banana on Sunday. Fine. Turkey bacon, then.
Little boy: No.
Mom: Fine. Nothing for you. Say, “OK, Mommy.”
Little boy: You’re mean.
Mom: You’re lucky to have a mean mommy.
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Kate Lane
Mom: First it will be spring, then summer, then time for you to go to kindergarten.
Four-year-old boy: Will there be nice kids there?
Mom: Are there nice kids at your day care now?
Four-year-old boy: Yeees…
Mom: You're the only bad kid at day care.
Four-year-old boy: I knooow!
–Uptown D Train
Little girl playing a Nintendo DS: Yes! Yes!
Mother: What happened?
Little girl: Never mind, Mom. You just wouldn’t understand.
–E train
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
