Waiter: Would you like to order now?
Man: No, I’m waiting for my sister.
Waiter: You said before that you were waiting for your wife.
Man: No, I didn’t. I said it was my sister.
Waiter: No, you didn’t.
Man: Would you like to be in movies?
Waiter: No, why?
Man: You have a really nice speaking voice. You should think about it.
Waiter: You really think so?
Man: Yeah. I make movies. You should give it a try.
–Lyric Diner, 22nd & 3rd
60-ish mother to two kids: There are two movies playing we should go to before they stop showing them — Casino Royale and Apocalypto Now.
Kid #1: Uh, yeah, Mom.
–PATH train
Overheard by: Serene Demeanor
Woman: This is my favorite part…of the worst song ever.
–MTV Studios, Times Square
Man on cell: No, it is not like the time I farted at Target and blamed in on that old woman!
–22nd & Park
Overheard by: Bill Ray
Drunken yuppie guy: I want my Subway sandwich! I want my Subway sandwich! Tuna and onions! Yeah, you heard me. Girls love big cocks. Girls love big cocks! These girls know. I’m on…I’m on Comedy Central! I’m a redneck on Comedy Central! My name is Heywood Jablowme! Heywood Jablowme! Heywood Jablowme! I’m from Texas where girls suck cock for a dime!
–32nd & 2nd
Woman: Did you hear Cooter wouldn’t endorse that remake?
–7 train
Overheard by: Todd Horan
Guy: God, I feel like I’m trapped in a fucking Hallmark Card.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Shoshana
Latina: …and he looks evil and the Princess is saying to him, “You are a good person” and he looks so evil and then she is with Obi King Wasabi and he said he is on the dark side and then the shorty guy–what is his name?–Yoga said, “He is on the dark side” and then Dark Wader he is with the cape and looks all angry and evil reminded me of me on Mondays.
–58th & Lexington
Overheard by: Brandy Rowell
Terrible two in stroller passing vendor: Daddy, I want a pretzel!
Father: Those are prop pretzels, like a movie set.
–The Flats, Central Park
Overheard by: Jira
Woman: I can’t tell Matt Dillon and his brother apart.
Man: I know! I thought it was Matt Dillon on Entourage.
Woman: It is Matt Dillon on Entourage.
Man: No, it’s his brother!
Woman: Nooo, it’s Matt Dillon…
Man: Wait, is it?
–1 train, 14th St
Overheard by:
Sixth grade boy reading list of movies to himself: Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Men in tights… Men in tights… I don’t know what the movie is about, but I like the title.
–Middle school, Park Slope
Angry dude: I can’t believe no place in all of New York City has this fucking movie. You can get anything in this city. Anything. If I wanted to get two midget strippers who’d let me do rails of coke off their asses tonight, I would be able to, but I can’t get this one fucking movie!
–St. Mark’s Pl
Hipster: I’m sorry, but there’s just never going to be a movie starring a midget.
–14th & 1st
Overheard by: Peter Dinklage, The Station Agent
Hipster dude: So I woke up, watched a movie, watched a movie, watched a movie, watched a movie, went out to the movies, came home, and watched another movie. I love movies. But then I had to sleep on my futon, and I woke up to a dog peeing on my head.
–R train
Asian chick to preggers friend: It would be so cool if your water broke during the movie.
–IMAX Theater
Overheard by: I don’t think it would be…
Chick #1: We can watch Lackawanna Blues tonight.
Chick #2: I can’t watch another black movie. I watched one last night.
Chick #1: What’d you watch last night?
Chick #2: Hitch.
–Office, Wall & William
Boyfriend, holding DVD: Seriously! It's the best movie ever made!
Girlfriend: How can you even say that?
Boyfriend: Hillary Swank won an Oscar!
Girlfriend: Not for her role in Karate Kid 2!
–F Train
Overheard by: smo
Chick #1: You know Gandhi? The Indian guy with the bald head and the robes?
Chick #2: Oh, yeah — he starred in that film.
–Parson’s School of Design
Homie #1: Transformers looks mad scary.
Homie #2: That’s why it’s for adults like us.
Homie #1: Word. So is Harry Potter.
–G train
