Girl #1: So is he gay yet?
Girl #2: No, but he’s dating a Jewish girl.
–Flute, Gramercy
Girl #1: So is he gay yet?
Girl #2: No, but he’s dating a Jewish girl.
–Flute, Gramercy
Girl #1: But, like, why do all the gay guys have to be so hot?
Girl #2: I know. At least all the lesbians are ugly!
–Times Square
White guy: There are many Africans where I live. I like them, because they’re more spiritual.
Chinese girl: They’re closer to nature.
–Verb Cafe, Bedford & N 7th, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Outmacked
Woman: Damn, that Mexican is hungry.
Mexican with 10 bags: I’m the delivery boy, you dumb fuck.
–100th & Broadway
Overheard by: robby b
White dude: I’m blacker than the fucking poops you shit, son!
–Ditmas Ave
Latina: Shit, where’d all these white people come from?
–Ludlow St
Overheard by: Caroline McGraw
Old black man: Damn son, you ain’t gonna live to be my age if you keep goin’ around callin’ people assholes.
Young punk: Shut the fuck up, old man, I don’t have to listen to you! I’m emancipated!
–S train
Guy #1: I think she’s Mexican.
Guy #2: Nah, she can’t be Mexican, I’ve been there, they cute but short.
Guy #1: Yeah, now that you mention it, she is a little too tall to be Mexican, but I don’t care, I’ll still hit it.
Guy #2: I’ll hit it and help her get her papers if she doesn’t have them. I’m all for amnesty in the name of getting laid.
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Tydestra, who speaks English
Hipster looking at parade thug boy wearing flag: Oh look, it’s Puerto Rican Superman.
Hipster’s mom: Shhhh! He heard you.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Judy
Man in elevator, to young boy: Como estas?
Wife: That is Spanish. He is from Brazil.
Man: Of, course. So, how do you say “how are you” in Brazilian?
Wife: Meh, they speak Portuguese in Brazil.
Man: Yes, I know that…
Pause
Man: How do you say it in Brazilian?
–109th & Amsterdam
Black girl: Hey white girl, where is the party?
White girl: What? We don’t know.
Hispanic girl #1: Y’all know where all the parties are.
White girl: We are from Cali.
Black and Hispanic girls: Ohhhhh.
Long pause.
Black girl #1: Welcome.
Black girl #2: What the fuck are you, the welcome wagon?
–Times Square
