Cute blond girl, hearing loud scream: What kid is throwing a temper tantrum? Jesus!
Boyfriend: No, that's just a crackhead.
Cute blond girl: Oh.
–Shake Shack, Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Noelle
Cute blond girl, hearing loud scream: What kid is throwing a temper tantrum? Jesus!
Boyfriend: No, that's just a crackhead.
Cute blond girl: Oh.
–Shake Shack, Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Noelle
Guy to friends: She walks like she has a huge dick, that's how she walks!
–Office Building, 34th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Spacedog ears
Drunk guy: So I put my dick in the hard drive.
–10th St & Ave A
Overheard by: guy walking dow street friday
Girl on cell: I can't compete with his dick!
–L Train
Overheard by: fuhggedaboudit
Angry hot girl to friend: Even if he's the biggest swinging dick in the world, so what?
–10th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: jennifer tobias
Angry middle-aged woman to silent husband: I come home, I want some gin and some dick.
–59th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: Dave
Young lady suit #1, about old lady suit screaming insanely on phone: You hear her? Yeah, she's… She's on the wrong track, I think. She might actually be getting on the crazy train soon.
Young lady suit #2: Yeah, the crazy train.
Young lady suit #1: She's going to take the crazy train all the way to crazy town. I bet it's a magic town.
Young lady suit #2: Sure, it's magic.
Young lady suit #1: A magic town. You'd need a special train to get there. It must be the Hogwarts express.
Young lady suit #2: I think I'll take your calls today.
Young lady suit #1: I'll see you on the platform.
–27th St & Park Ave
Man: Do you have bathing suits?
Salesgirl: No… But we have swimming trunks.
Man, sarcastically: Why not? I'll try those.
–6th & 23rd
Metalhead #1, holding ice cream with fruit punch stain: Shit, am I bleeding?
Metalhead #2: Uhhh… No.
Metalhead #1: Then why is my ice cream red?
Metalhead #3: Dude, you're eating ice cream and drinking Hawaiian Punch.
–Irving Plaza
Overheard by: A metalhead
Jersey woman #1: I wanna see that movie this weekend, I'm gonna go watch it at the theater.
Jersey woman #2: You gonna get those ladybugs all over you.
Jersey woman #1: Ladybugs?
Jersey woman #3: She means “bed bugs.”
–42nd St & Lexington
Petite Asian woman on cell: And that's when I'll cut off his penis!
–East Village
Overheard by: Katie
Guy in the middle of group photo: Okay, now everybody take your cocks out.
–The Luxor Hotel, Columbus & 81st St
Loud matronly woman on cell, exasperated: Whose penis was on your thing?
–3rd & 16th
Overheard by: Joe & Eliz
Young lesbian on cell: She kept yelling "penis!" the whole time we were doing it… Should I call her?
–Long Island City
Overheard by: Sunny
Guy: She *is* stupid. But in this unbelievably sexy way, so you don't even care.
–10th St & 3rd Ave
16-year-old black girl, about Shia LaBeouf: He's the sexiest white boy. I'm gonna rape his ass.
–Battery Park
Teen girl on cell: I would never have sexy mushrooms in front of my mom.
–Time Warner Center
Overheard by: Scott
20-something girl on cell: Nah, I won't play second bitch! She's just mad because I always look nice and keep my sexy up.
–Park Slope
Small white chick: I'm so horny. All I can think is, “penis penis penis penis.”
Large black gay friend: I know how you feel. That's me, constantly.
Small white chick: Well, it's also me. So I guess we're in the same boat. The same penis-shaped boat.
Large black gay friend: Big, hard, black penis-shaped boat.
Small white chick: That's us. We're in that boat.
Large black gay friend: Is it a motorboat?!
Small white chick: Yes! Of course!
Large black gay friend: Yay!
Small white chick: It is a penis-boat, after all.
Large black gay friend: We're soooo horny… It's kinda gross.
–23rd St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Penisboat
Man: It's just frustrating walking behind really slow people.
Woman: He was handicapped!
Man: It's still frustrating.
–21st St & Park Ave
