Five-year-old boy: Let’s play Spin the Bottle!
Friend with water bottle: Yeah!
–228 E 23rd St
Five-year-old boy: Let’s play Spin the Bottle!
Friend with water bottle: Yeah!
–228 E 23rd St
Boyfriend about loud passing motorcycle: You know, guys who clean their pipes like that have small genitalia.
Girlfriend: Well… I’m not so sure about that.
–18th & Park
Overheard by: Bob who likes to walk
Guy #1: I love making fun of the Amish online.
Guy #2: Why?
Guy #1: Because they’ll never know.
–25th & 3rd
Overheard by: Keegan
Guy #1: So she told me that she wants to make out more.
Guy #2: Huh?
Guy #1: She wants to sit and make out but not have sex.
Guy #2: Why bother making out if it isn’t going to end in sex?
Guy #1: That’s what I said.
–15th & Colfax
Overheard by: sean b
Girl: Last time you told me something was overrated I got pregnant.
–Sephora, Broadway
Overheard by: linzz
Guy: … So then she changed her middle name to something like "Afterbirth…"
–Spring St
Overheard by: boston bobby
College guy on cell: He was like, ‘Shit, she’s got a bun in the oven!’ And I was like, ‘Oh, shit!’
–Columbia University
Overheard by: roo
Chick: She said he talked to her on the phone and that’s how he got her pregnant.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Overheard by: Wondering how that works
Preggers: I’m gonna across this street against the light, pregnant and all, and I’m not gonna have a miscarriage.
–Eastern Pkwy & Classon Ave, Crown Heights, Brooklyn
Employee to another: I only gained two pounds during my pregnancy, and I’m on my seventh month!
–Burger King, 5th Ave, between 36th & 37th
Overheard by: EE Grimshaw
NYU girl on cell: … So then the doctor comes in and he goes, ‘Houston, we have a problem…" I know, right? What’s with doctors trying to be all funny when they’re telling you that you’re pregnant?
–NYU bus
Overheard by: tj
Guy looking at billboard at construction site: The ‘One Ill Building’? That’s a stupid name for an apartment building!
Friend: You’re the dumbass. That says the ‘O’Neill Building.’
–21st & 6th
Overheard by: Pierce
Ghetto boy #1: It smells like… It smells like hot sex in space.
Ghetto boy #2: O.D.! This ain’t no Star Trek shit!
–16th & 1st
Overheard by: Vulcan
Junkie lady: Excuse me, I need someone to help me. I’m trying to run for President, and I need someone — whaddyacallit — to book my limos and hotels for me and shit.
Librarian: Like a personal assistant?
Junkie lady: Yeah, that’s it! I’m running for President, and the minorities keep telling people that I’m crazy. I’m too busy to fuckin’ beat em with a metal baseball bat, you know, so I need a personal assistant.
–228 E 23rd St
Overheard by: Liberry Lady
Girl #1: So, how was it at his house?
Girl #2: It was fine until he kept…
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: Well, he kept begging me to try it, and I was like, ‘Listen, I’ll do any other kinky thing you want, but I think that is just gross!’ And then he went and got the garden hose anyway…
–Victoria’s Secret, Herald Square
Wigger referring to Lhasa Apso on leash: Yo, yo, man, look at that dog. I told my bitch I’d steal a dog like that for her.
Black friend: You like them faggot dogs? I like me a mothafuckah dat can tear somebody’s ass up, like a Doberman or some shit.
Wigger, pausing to think: Man, it’s dangerous to steal a Doberman!
–Gramercy Park
Overheard by: Big Larry
