Little kid whispering: I don’t have to pee.
Dad: Shut up.
–Men’s room, MoMA
Overheard by: dues
Little kid whispering: I don’t have to pee.
Dad: Shut up.
–Men’s room, MoMA
Overheard by: dues
Guy on cell: OK, well, be safe. If you get raped make sure he wears a condom.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Daniel
Girl: Don’t let me talk to boys after I take blue pills.
–31st & 2nd
Girl #1: Sometimes he like to rape my ass.
Girl #2: Ew! Hee hee.
–outside The Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: Josh Neufeld
Girl #1: Well, she was raped.
Girl #2: I wasn’t really raped.
–Vertigo, 26th & 3rd
Yuppie chick #1: Sweetie, you’re going to get raped dressed like that.
Yuppie chick #2: No. I have an umbrella.
–Delancey & Allen
Overheard by: Mitchell Linetti
Queer #1 glaring at nearby smoker lady: Ugh!
Queer #2: I hope she gets cancer. [Woman passes a little kid and enters museum.] That little kid should’ve kicked her.
–Outside the Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: Caulfield
Young man, about entirely light-blue painting behind glass: What is this? What the heck is this, anyway?
Mother: It’s saying something.
Young man: What’s it saying?
Mother: It’s saying, ‘I’m an extra mirror. I’m here if you need me.’
–Contemporary Art section, MoMA
Girl: She’s Dominican? She doesn’t talk like the Dominicans!
Guy: Well, she’s very well-educated.
–Aztec exhibit, Guggenheim Museum
Child: Mommy, what happened when you were 17?
Mother: Mommy turned to a life of crime.
Child: Well, what happened when you were 18?
Mother: Mommy cleaned herself up.
–MoMA
Asian girl: I was going down the stairs just now, and this girl was getting seriously upset over how horrible she looks today. Then the boy she was with went all, ‘Oh my god, stop it!’ and asked me, ‘Doesn’t she look good today?’
White girl: And then?
Asian girl: I told him she looks lovely, and came here.
White girl: Oh.
Asian girl: But goddammit, I wanted to slap her upside the face! I mean, don’t go around crying over how ugly you look when you’re obviously skinny and gorgeous — that just makes you a bitch!
White girl: Mmm-hm. Seriously.
–Bronx Science
Young physicist: So, dude, are you gonna be around in a few months?
Old physicist: I sure hope so.
–Museum of Natural History
Old lady: I think we qualify as old farts.
Old hubby: Thank you so much for that kind statement.
–Rubin Museum of Art, 17th St
Overheard by: Princess Dy
Chick #1: Shit. Hon, do you have a tampon?
Chick #2: Sorry, babe. I don’t.
Chick #1: Does anyone have a tampon?
Chorus of women in stalls: Sorry. Nooo, I don’t. Can’t help, sorry. Maybe they’ll have a tampon machine?
Chick #1: Doubt it. That wouldn’t be very modern.
–Women’s room, MoMA
Overheard by: Inky Circus
