In a hamburger joint in Vancouver: “Can I have a regular hamburger, rare, please?”
Waitress: “You’re obviously not from BC. In the whole province, it is illegal to cook a hamburger in any way other than well-done.”
In a hamburger joint in Vancouver: “Can I have a regular hamburger, rare, please?”
Waitress: “You’re obviously not from BC. In the whole province, it is illegal to cook a hamburger in any way other than well-done.”
Bus-driver in Vancouver: “The BC government recently did a study about fraud on the bus system, and the company they hired concluded that 3% of the riders take advantage of the system. But driving this bus every day, I see that it is really 30-40%. The newspapers say that Canadians are so good but it’s not true!”
Drunk hipster: Since when did the vagina become the font of all morality?
–110th & Amsterdam
Girl running in pajamas: Oh my god my vagina is so cold!
–50th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Matt
Girl proclaiming: I saw the vagina.
–NYU
Acting student: You have a vagina and he’s all into that. I have a penis and he’s not all into that. That’s why you have to do this for me.
–Archbold Theater
Overheard by: nice
Crazy black woman: I know my pussy! You don’t know my pussy! Haha! You can’t say you know my pussy, I know my pussy! Haha, hah! If you can’t find my pussy, you can’t say you’re not too big!
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: Xiao Hoah Dze
Nondescript guy on cell phone: So, were the vaginas ok?
–55th St & 8th
Girl #1: So I'm hooking up with two guys named Nick…bad idea.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: Well I gave Nick #2 my number and I got a text from someone who I thought was Nick #2. Turns out it was Nick #1 all along.
Girl #2: What happened?
Girl #1: So I went to Nick #2's house, assuming it was him from the text. I got there, and it's two girls sitting in the bed, Nick's friend and Nick, all in pajamas. Nick #2 pulls me aside, asks what I'm doing there, and I showed him the texts. It wasn't him, it was Nick #1, from his friends phone.
Girl #2: Looks like you're back to just one Nick now!
–Metro North, Stanford Line
Overheard by: Girl 3
Chick #1: Who am I kidding? I don’t even have anyone to marry.
Chick #2: That’s why you should come to Mona’s and meet a nice drug addict.
–Sbarro, 49th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ellen
Man walking down the street in downtown Vancouver to the woman next to him: “I’m Jewish, but my family has been in Canada for three generations”
Woman: “Oh. I have one Jewish friend.”
Woman: Two retarded people would find each other. Still, they’ll make a good couple.
–Burger King, Bensonhurst
Young man in Vancouver: “It’s so hard to meet anyone here who is Jewish!”
On Hastings Avenue in Vancouver, there is a restaurant called the “New York Bistro Grill.” The first and most prominent item on their menu reads:
“New York Burger – baby shrimps, cream cheese, and guacamole”
Four teenagers in a convertible at a stop-sign speaking about me as I cross the street right in front of them, in Vancouver: “Hey, he looks Jewish!”
