Bus-driver in Vancouver: “The BC government recently did a study about fraud on the bus system, and the company they hired concluded that 3% of the riders take advantage of the system. But driving this bus every day, I see that it is really 30-40%. The newspapers say that Canadians are so good but it’s not true!”
Drunk hipster: Since when did the vagina become the font of all morality?
–110th & Amsterdam
Girl running in pajamas: Oh my god my vagina is so cold!
–50th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Matt
Girl proclaiming: I saw the vagina.
–NYU
Acting student: You have a vagina and he’s all into that. I have a penis and he’s not all into that. That’s why you have to do this for me.
–Archbold Theater
Overheard by: nice
Crazy black woman: I know my pussy! You don’t know my pussy! Haha! You can’t say you know my pussy, I know my pussy! Haha, hah! If you can’t find my pussy, you can’t say you’re not too big!
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: Xiao Hoah Dze
Nondescript guy on cell phone: So, were the vaginas ok?
–55th St & 8th
Girl #1: So I'm hooking up with two guys named Nick…bad idea.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: Well I gave Nick #2 my number and I got a text from someone who I thought was Nick #2. Turns out it was Nick #1 all along.
Girl #2: What happened?
Girl #1: So I went to Nick #2's house, assuming it was him from the text. I got there, and it's two girls sitting in the bed, Nick's friend and Nick, all in pajamas. Nick #2 pulls me aside, asks what I'm doing there, and I showed him the texts. It wasn't him, it was Nick #1, from his friends phone.
Girl #2: Looks like you're back to just one Nick now!
–Metro North, Stanford Line
Overheard by: Girl 3
Chick #1: Who am I kidding? I don’t even have anyone to marry.
Chick #2: That’s why you should come to Mona’s and meet a nice drug addict.
–Sbarro, 49th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ellen
Man walking down the street in downtown Vancouver to the woman next to him: “I’m Jewish, but my family has been in Canada for three generations”
Woman: “Oh. I have one Jewish friend.”
Woman: Two retarded people would find each other. Still, they’ll make a good couple.
–Burger King, Bensonhurst
Young man in Vancouver: “It’s so hard to meet anyone here who is Jewish!”
On Hastings Avenue in Vancouver, there is a restaurant called the “New York Bistro Grill.” The first and most prominent item on their menu reads:
“New York Burger – baby shrimps, cream cheese, and guacamole”
Four teenagers in a convertible at a stop-sign speaking about me as I cross the street right in front of them, in Vancouver: “Hey, he looks Jewish!”
An older woman, ordering very slowly at a Starbucks in Vancouver, “should I get the large or the medium, oh I don’t know, I’m not really sure how thirsty I am…. ”
She then turns to the six people waiting online behind her, including your correspondent, and says, “I know I’m going slowly, so you all can go in front of me”
To which everyone else waiting on line behind her says in unison, “no, take your time” and “it’s okay, don’t worry about it” and “we’re not in a rush”
