Fat Slob: I think I love you, babe. Ooh, that tattoo is cute. “Rot in Peace.”
–Post Office, Bensonhurst
Fat Slob: I think I love you, babe. Ooh, that tattoo is cute. “Rot in Peace.”
–Post Office, Bensonhurst
Gay man with a completely serious tone: It is going to take a lot of brownie mix and a lot of sex -but I am committed.
–W 52nd & 9th
Overheard by: I wish I knew what they were speaking about
Queer: Well kids, it’s been great, but I gotta go. I have a meeting in a little bit and I want to masturbate first.
–Wagner College Dinning Hall
Queer: Anyone can just leave. It takes a true queen to make an exit.
–Christopher Street
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Queer: And then I was so glad I miscarried because getting knocked up and being pregnant is like, such a hassle!
–Sarah Lawrence College
Overheard by: bitterfame
Gay guy on cell: So wait, you got kicked out because a couple of bitchy fags sprayed you with alcohol?
–23rd & 7th
Black queer: My pillow is Gucci! Raaaaaah! [He beings to attack people with said Gucci pillow.]
–Pillow Fight, Union Square
Overheard by: Lillian
Old large gay man to group of young gays: It was really great meeting you all. You are such an interesting group of people. [To one boy.] I’d love to see you in a speedo!
–Hollywood Diner, 17th St & 6th Ave
Italian dude #1: No, it’s called Shalom in the Home. They send this Jewish guy in to tell you right from wrong.
Italian dude #2: They send some Jewish guy into your house?
Italian dude #1: Yeah, they send a Jewish guy in to, like, tell you if you’re doing something wrong.
Italian dude #2: So if you’re smokin’ crack, he’s all, ‘Don’t do that!’?
–Cooper & 67th, Glendale
Overheard by: Kimberlee
Guy, sniffing at a box of bolts: Wow, these smell like Twizzlers!
Box owner: Well, they are from Germany.
–Metric Building, Hawthorne
Overheard by: not surprised at all
Girl: I want some of those sunglasses, you know… Raybaums?
Boy: You mean Raybans? Dude, you just made him Jewish!
–Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Molly
Chick on cell: It attacked me this morning. I attacked it this afternoon.
–113th St
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Six-year-old boy on train platform to grown man eyeing him: Stop looking at me or I'm going to beat you up!
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Turning away now.
Hipster on cell: Wait…so he hit you with the broom first, right?
–60th & Lex
Overheard by: Easy Does It
Shopper on her cell: If one of these little kids steps on my toes one more time I'm gonna pinch the motherfuckers.
–Ikea in Red Hook
Woman in bathroom: No, there's no toilet paper. You wanna throw down?
–Port Authority
Man, in Los Angeles: Cialdini’s Influence is the classic psychological book about how and why people are convinced.
Woman: Ah, I should read that so I can learn to convince myself of things.
Tourist in Vancouver: “I haven’t been able to find a post-office in Vancouver. Where are they?”
Waitress: “Oh, the Canadian government sold off all the post-offices, now they just have kiosks in any pharmacy, so just go to the drug store down the street.”
Girl at make-up counter: Where was yous at during the tornado yesterday?
Customer: Huh?
Girl at make-up counter: Guess you didn’t got one, then.
–Kaufmann’s, Walden Galleria
Overheard by: Rachel + Isaac
In a hamburger joint in Vancouver: “Can I have a regular hamburger, rare, please?”
Waitress: “You’re obviously not from BC. In the whole province, it is illegal to cook a hamburger in any way other than well-done.”
