20-something girl: Hey! How are you? You look great! What have you been doing now that you finished school?
20-something suit: Virgins only.
20-something girl: So that means we won't be having sex again.
20-something suit: Been there, done that.
–6 Train
30-something woman #1: It's only a matter of time when you start dating a guy before he asks you the question.
30-something woman #2: What question?
30-something woman #1: C'mon, the thing that every guy asks for in bed.
30-something woman #2: Ooooooohhhh, anal sex.
30-something woman #1: That's the question!
–E Train to Queens
Overheard by: butt, of course
Headline by: Brian Costlow
Runners-Up:
· “Alex, I’ll Take “Things That Will Never Happen” for $100″ – The Trayster
· “Gotta Stop Meeting Boyfriends at the Pray Out The Gay Sessions.” – KJM
· “I Always Keep My Strap-on in My Purse – Just in Case.” – Sodajerk
· “I Just Hope He Doesn’t Ask at a Baseball Game. Too Cliche.” – pieski
· “Pooping the Question” – tech98
· “Reason #32 to Be a Lesbian” – Trey Jackson
Lady cop to drunk guy: C’mon, get on the train. You can switch at West Fourth. Get home safe. [Drunk guy tries to grab her arm.] No, I’m not coming with you.
Drunk guy: Come with me!
–F train, 42nd St
Overheard by: Colleen
Yuppie girl #1, looking at platform: Ohmigod! Is that like a mirror over there, or are there actually other people on that side?
Yuppie girl #2: I don't get it.
–Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: Chris H
HS boy #1: Damn, it’s rush hour.
HS boy #2: You know it’s rush hour when you can touch a girl’s booty and she don’t slap you.
–6 train
Overheard by: ZorbaBuddha
Man #1: This subway smells like citrus fruit.
Man #2: Yeah, Mr. Lemonhead got killed here.
Woman: I peed on his face once.
–2nd Avenue station
Overheard by: Tourist in Town
Black woman: You look like Vanna White.
White girl: Really?
Black woman: Don’t she look like Vanna White?
Queer: Yes, but better.
Black woman: What do you mean better! Vanna is rich and shit. And on TV. And this bitch over here has nothing. She’s on the subway, for Christ’s sake!
–Downtown 6 train
Overheard by: JR
Elementary schooler #1: Next week you can come and sleep over. And you know what I’m gonna do?
Elementary schooler #2, quivering with excitement: No, what?
Elementary schooler #1: The same thing as last time! [Both start giggling.]
–F train
Overheard by: I wish they could quit that
Thin chick: I love smoking cigarettes while I walk.
Fat friend: Ugh, I hate smoking cigarettes while I’m walking. I can just see it now — ‘Look at that cow walking down the street puffing on a cigarette.’ I’ll be, like, smoking with my right hand, holding my inhaler with my left and wobbling down the street. Nice.
–F train
Overheard by: Hysterical
Hyperactive seven-year-old: Mom! Let me lick your ear! Come here, let me suck it!
Disgusted mother: Boy, I ain't your girl!
–2 Train
