Subway hobo: Hello, I am not here to beg. I am homeless, I have not eaten in a week. I have not been able to find a job.
Man on the train: Hey man, if you are looking for a job I can help you out.
Subway hobo: What do you mean? This is my job!
–D Train
Homeless woman on train walking around with a tip cup after playing the guitar: Please spare some change. Somebody. Anybody!
30-something Guido, pulling out a $20: Do you have change?
–7 Train
Overheard by: Maria
Conductor: This is a reminder that soliciting is illegal on all New York City subway trains, even if it's for the homeless.
Loud ghetto guy: Attention ladies and gentleman, I'm collecting money for the homeless. Help the homeless? Help the homeless?
Conductor: This is a reminder that soliciting is illegal on all New York City subway trains, even if it's for the homeless. This is his fourth trip. Don't do it.
Loud ghetto guy: Attention ladies and gentlemen, I'm collecting money for the homeless. Help the homeless? Help the homeless?
–Shuttle from Grand Central to Times Square
Overheard by: Alison R.
Guy to friend: Dude, I'm working on a new house song right now. It's going to kick ass. It's called "Google It". It goes "Googleit, Googleit, Googleit…"
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Ian
Two guys: Ladies and gentlemen, we are not asking for any money, we just want to sing a little Linkin Park. (they proceed to jump around and sing Linkin Park)
–Uptown N Train
Overheard by: Hametuka
Hipster to friend: Flava Flav…yeah, he's like that skinny guy in Lord of the Rings…you know… "my precioussss…" Yeah… That's him…just a darker version.
–Subway, Brooklyn
Preteen: I won't beat my wife! I listen to Bob Marley!
–E 21st St b/w 1st & 2nd
Dude (matter-of-factly): Crazy northerners…don't quite understand that we're aware of how to speak English in the South. We just choose to say things cooler. That's why Southern rap sounds so much cooler.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: another misunderstood southerner
Middle aged tourist woman: Have you heard all of these Country Western songs about little girls recently? There's like four of them, and they're all really good too!
–Pinkberry, Bleecker b/w MacDougal & Sullivan
Overheard by: Jason
Subway beggar to the people on train : Yo, my daughter just died and I don't have any money to bury her… (recognizes someone on the train) Yo!
Man on the train: Hey! How's the wife?
Subway beggar: Oh, she good, she good. She be working too! She working on the 4 line!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Faye
Annoying fundraiser guy: Scuse me, miss, if I could have a second of your time.
(cute girl stops and takes off headphones)
Annoying fund raiser guy: I work for the Children's Rights Foundation and I'm collec…
Cute girl (interrupting): Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you wanted sex.
–23rd St & 6th Ave
Hobo: Spare some change?
Girl: Yeah…so you can go buy booze? Keep dreaming, bucko.
–Times Square
Hobo, interrupting a guy and a girl: Excuse me, could I bum a cigarette or get some spare change?
Young man: I'm low on cash and sorry, but I have a cigarette for you. (hands hobo a cigarette) Do you need a light?
Hobo: Nope. (walks away)
(young man and woman continue conversation, hobo comes back and interrupts again)
Hobo: Can I ask you a question?
Young man: Shoot!
Hobo: What does Matt Damon's dick look like in Audrey Hepburn's ass?
Young woman: Trick question.
(hobo gives them the finger, walks away)
–Central Park
White dude to passengers: Ladies and gentlemen, I don't normally do this. I just got out of jail and my family won't let me come back home. I am not a drug user or an alcoholic. I go back to work on Monday, please help me. I'm scared. I went to a shelter and I was beaten and had everything taken from me. I'm just trying to make enough to stay at the YMCA for the night. Anything you can do to help me…
Chica, yelling: Yo, my friend wants to know what you was in jail for!
White dude: Oh, I raped a girl.
–F Train
Overheard by: LZA
Hobo to smoking girl: Hey, can I give you a cigarette?
Girl: Um…that's okay. Got one.
Hobo: Oh! Well, can I get one?
Girl: It's my last one.
Hobo: Can I share it with you?
Girl: You know what…here, you can have it.
Hobo: Can I give you some spare change?
(girl walks away)
–6th St & Ave A
Overheard by: Michele
