Girl #1: I am so glad I bought those earrings. I am definitely going to find my baby’s father tomorrow night.
Girl #2: It’s not the kind of place to find your baby’s father. You might find your baby’s daddy, but not your baby’s father.
–Broadway & 4th
Overheard by: angela chase
Kid: I was in the newspaper yesterday.
Nanny: You were? Why were you in the newspaper?
Kid: Daddy told the New York Times that I like the way the subway smells.
–Montague & Court
Overheard by: Rachel
Mom to son exiting criminal court: So, what did they say ’bout all them drugs you do?
Young son: Nothin’! They didn’t even ask, so I didn’t say anything.
Mom: Wow! I am so proud of you.
–161st, Bronx
Girl: So why didn't your dad like Giuliani again?
Boy: I think it was the casual fascism.
–72nd St & West End
Conductor: Next stop, Lexington.
Four-year-old girl, cutting him off: Shut up! Shut up!
Mother: Who are you tellin to shut up?
Four-year-old girl: That man! We *know* where we is!
Conductor: Please stand clear of the closing doors.
Four-year-old girl: We know! This ain't the first time we rode a train, sir!
–N Train
Mother: When you go into the stall do not sit down on that toilet seat!
Girl: OK, Mommy.
Mother closes the door and goes into the next stall.
Girl: Mommy?
Mother: Yes?
Girl: I’m sittin’ all over this toilet!
Mother: Girl, I told you not to sit on that toilet!
–Wendy’s ladies room, W. 34th and 8th Ave
Daughter: You’re always humming that McDonalds song.
Mother: Huh?
Daughter: You know…”da da da da da I’m loooovin’ it.”
Mother: No, honey. Goldfinger. *Ba ra ba rum*
Daughter: Oh.
–Central Park
Meathead: I want to get the Jesus fish tattooed on my back with the Greek letters in it. But my Mom even has a problem with that!
–D train
Ma: She said, “OK, Mommy!”. She took it like an angel. She’s really good at taking medicine.
–D train
Mom: I don’t know. I think you have to be, like, 21 to go to outer space.
–83rd & Amsterdam
A six-year-old stops coughing and asks: Mommy, why did you cover my mouth?
–Q Train
