Girl #1: You know, if you think all songs are sung by a penis, they suddenly become funny.
Girl #2: You are high, you know that?
–91st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: SexyJewThang
Girl #1: You know, if you think all songs are sung by a penis, they suddenly become funny.
Girl #2: You are high, you know that?
–91st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: SexyJewThang
Dude: I really need a second job.
Chick: You should post on craigslist or something.
Dude: Yeah, right. “WILL DO ANYTHING”.
Chick: Whoa, no, don’t say that. Soon you’ll have two cocks in your mouth and one in your ear.
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Peter
JHS boy #1: Shut up before I have to put my ass in your mouth.
JHS boy #2: How the hell you gonna put your ass in my mouth?
–Central Park
Girl #1: It looked like you were getting pretty close with that guy on the dance floor.
Girl #2: I know! He was putting his dick all up in my ass like he knew me or something.
–11th between 3rd & 4th
JHS girl #1: Bitch, I will beat your ass!
JHS girl #2: I’ll beat your mother’s ass!
JHS boy: Y’all two are making my dick hurt.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Gus Colletti
Flaming queer: What you whiteboys don’t realize is that the foreskin is not a chew toy. Maybe a little biting is OK, but don’t go down on it like a stick of Trident.
Preppy queer: This is totally going to end up on Overheard if you don’t quiet down.
Flaming queer: I’m Puerto Rican; we’re a loud people. It’s all of the drums.
–Candle Bar, Amsterdam Avenue
Chick on cell: …It was the worst. First of all, he have a big dick. And to make things worse, he did not know how to fuck…I mean, come on, what the hell is that all about?…Uh huh, yeah, you are probably right…and another thing he couldn’t fit…I guess my pussy was too small or something…yeah, uh huh, I don’t think so. It’s not worth the trouble. Would you go back?…Exactly.
–Time Square
Overheard by: Jada
Freestyling hobo: Sex on TV will never stop. My big dick in a lollipop.
Bonus: The blueblood ladies walking by gasped.
–40th & 2nd
Dowager: I’ll take a Swiss cock, please. That looks good.
–Bakery, 58th & 7th
Man on cell: That stuff was too expensive. Why don’t I just buy one of those cheap necklaces on the street and you can put in a blue boz and say it was from Tiffany’s.
–57th & 5th
Overheard by: Angie
Preppy: Hey Dave, put another beer in this cooze!
–Blind Tiger Ale House, Hudson Street
Woman: I’m so sick of boyfriends. I want to be single forever. Fingers and vibrators are it!
–43rd St. & 10th Ave.
Overheard by: Jenn X
Girl on cell: I’m telling you, the MTA is like a bad boyfriend. You’re all dressed up and ready to go and the fucking train doesn’t even show up! And the worst part is the next time you totally show up again, ready to go and just have to hope to God that the stupid train shows up. What the hell is that?
–45th & 8th
Black girl: It felt like I was losing my virginity all over again. That was some King Kong kind of shit.
–E train
Overheard by: Philip
Girl: …so I told him to suck his own dick if he thinks he can do it any better.
–G train
Overheard by: Ocera
Little boy: Mommy, mommy, do you have a penis?
–E train
Overheard by: Ting
JHS kid: …so I said, “He’s gonna make you stay after class and he’s gonna pull down your fucking pants and shove his fucking cock up your ass!”
–Times Square shuttle
Overheard by: Lizzy
