Woman: Something got stuck in my sinuses, then it went down my spine and had a party.
–BBQ, UWS
Woman: Something got stuck in my sinuses, then it went down my spine and had a party.
–BBQ, UWS
Banker guy: I hope you have bail money.
Bouncer guy: Fuck you.
Manager guy: What’s the problem here?
Banker guy: He shoved me.
Manager guy: I don’t know anything about that, but you didn’t bring ID.
Banker guy: I have my Dartmouth ID and my Goldman Sachs ID.
–outside Brass Monkey, Little West 12th Street
Overheard by: pb dot c
Fortysomething dude: Don’t tell me I don’t know about metabolism! I have known about metabolism my entire life. Metabolize yourself!
–The Gate, Park Slope
Overheard by: Moochy and D-Rock
Girl on cell: I don’t want to talk about your eating disorder every fucking time we talk!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: mondo man
Girl: I’m going to do voodoo on her.
Guy: Is she black?
Girl: Yeah. The thing is that whatever you do comes back three times against you, so I’m going to have to do santeria to take it off.
–W Train
Chick: We were trying to name all fifty states. And I was like, “Is Delaware a state?” and then three other people asked the same thing!
–36th & 8th
Overheard by: not minding my own business
(Actually, Delaware is a small town.)
Girl #1: …so, my professor started talking about The Diary of Anne Frank.
Girl #2: Oh, Anne Frank! I used to love her! I had the diary, the notebooks and the pencils and everything.
Queer: What?
Girl #1: I think she means Lisa Frank.
–27th & 7th
Waif #1: Do you have any of that low-carb gum?
Waif #2: That stuff is super fierce.
Waif #1: I know.
–1 train
Guy #1: …and then I came in and Anne was watching some gay movie with Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix–
Guy #2: Who’s River Phoenix?
Guy #1: You know, Joaquin Phoenix’s brother.
Guy #2: Joaquin Phoenix has a brother?
Guy #1: I guess…
–A train
Girl, 9: Is that your ADD talking?
Boy, 9: What? I don’t have that disease!
Girl, 9: A-D-D doesn’t spell AIDS!
–1/9 train
Overheard by: Nicole A.
‘That Guy’, after proposing during the game, is standing and hugging his fiancee.
Yankee fan: What are we doing, playing baseball or getting married? Yankees first, wife second! Now sit the fuck down.
–Section 18, Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Lindsay
