It’s Wednesday One-liners, Baby

Teen girl on cell: …you just gotta sit him down and say we’re both pregnant by him and we wanna know if we can get along!

–Canal Street

JHS boy: Let’s make like a fetus and head out.

–Broadway & Washington Place

Drunk girl: How could I be pregnant? I like women!

–Times Square

Thug on cell: Nigga, how you been? Shit, I had five kids since I last seen you!

–Elizabeth & Prince

Guy on cell: Do we have to wash you and shave you and put a diaper on you before tonight?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: djlindee

Posted on March 8, 2015
Babies, Chinatown, Drinking & Drunk People, Kids, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, People, Places, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Relationships, Should've Used a Condom, Soho, Teens, Thugs, Times Square

The Cuss-Faucet Continues to Drip After You Turn It Off

Woman #1: I don’t care what kinda shit he was talkin’ about. That motherfucker was out of his mind!
Woman #2, motioning to small children nearby: Stop cursing.
Woman #1: Oh shit, I’m sorry.

–34th St N/R platform

Overheard by: jazzystar69

Posted on March 7, 2015
Anger Management, Kids, On the Subway, People, Places, Topics, Women, Words

Starbucks: Where Six of One is Not a Half-Dozen of the Other

Employee: Ma’am, can I help you?
Woman: I’d like a half dozen of your chocolate chip cookies.
Employee: We only sell them, like, 1, 2, 3…
Woman to friend: Is she serious?
Friend: She’ll take 6.

–Starbucks, Rockefeller Center Concourse

Posted on March 5, 2015
Baristas, Education, Favorites, Food, Junk Food & Fast Food, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, People, Places, Restaurants & Cafes, Shopping, Starbucks, Stupidity, Topics, Venues, Women

The New Yorkers Waited With Bated Breath, Hoping Secession Was in the Works

Woman: Oh, this is great. We got on a nonstop train to Trenton. Just what I fuckin’ need in my life right now. It’s OK, we’ll just go see our nation’s capital.
Random man: Our nation’s capital?
Woman: You know I meant state. I don’t need comments from the fuckin’ peanut gallery. I went to high school. I graduated with fuckin’ honors.

–NJ Transit train, Penn Station

Overheard by: Another fuckin’ honor student

Posted on March 4, 2015
Biotechs, Penn Station, Places, U.S. Geography

Because Nothing Says Hilarity Like Catholicism

Suit #1: No sir, the kids don’t have school off tomorrow. You believe that?
Suit #2: Wait, the Catholic Schools don’t close for the Jewish holidays? You’re kidding me!

–Elevator, Park & 33rd

Overheard by: Nick Jezarian

Posted on February 21, 2015
Catholics, Elevators, Holidays, Jews, Kids, Manhattan, Murray Hill and Gramercy, People, Places, Suits

Red-handed, Huh? With What Were They Stained?

Girl #1: I saw this homeless girl on the street who looked our age and I felt so bad.
Girl #2: So did you give her money?
Girl #1: No, my nails were wet.

–62nd & Lexington

Posted on February 19, 2015
Age/Aging, Beauty, Homeless, Manhattan, Money & Class, People, Places, Topics, Upper East Side

Most Polarizing Overheard Ever

Fratboy #1: Can she bring some of her friends?
Fratboy #2: You don’t want to meet her friends.
Fratboy #1: Why?
Fratboy #2: I don’t know, they’re…
Fratboy #1: They’re fat, right?
Fratboy #2: Yeah.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Josh Caldwell