Fratboy #1: Can she bring some of her friends?
Fratboy #2: You don’t want to meet her friends.
Fratboy #1: Why?
Fratboy #2: I don’t know, they’re…
Fratboy #1: They’re fat, right?
Fratboy #2: Yeah.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Josh Caldwell
Fratboy #1: Can she bring some of her friends?
Fratboy #2: You don’t want to meet her friends.
Fratboy #1: Why?
Fratboy #2: I don’t know, they’re…
Fratboy #1: They’re fat, right?
Fratboy #2: Yeah.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Josh Caldwell
Queer: Is it wrong to think of my brother while I’m getting fucked in the ass?
Girl: Oh my god, I thought I was the only freak that thought that!
–Times Square
Overheard by: eavesdropper
HS girl: Man, this school is a ho!
Security guard: Yeah, and you gotta learn how to trick it right to get what you want out of it.
–Bread & Roses High, Harlem
Guy: How do you get to Astor Place?
Old man: You go up 2 blocks, make a left, then go fuck yourself.
–10th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: andy
British bitch on cell: I’m surrounded by fucking morons who probably struggled through the NYC school system. We all know New Yorkers are the dumbest. They can’t even read. They haven’t had a Latin education and they probably can’t even speak another language…I didn’t want to get a limo to take to the fuckin’ ghettos of Brooklyn. I didn’t want to take a cab because these uneducated people don’t understand directions. I didn’t want to spend $30 and not get to the right place…Please make sure my car gets fixed. I’ve been reduced to the humiliation of taking public transportation. Now the second part of my fucking nightmare begins. I have to take the subway! I’m dressed like a commoner. I didn’t want to wear a $5000 Chanel suit on a seat that hasn’t been cleaned…She’s letting us borrow her castle for our wedding. If they can’t afford to be there, they obviously don’t deserve to come.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Christine
Guy: Why won’t you spend time with me?
Chick: Because I don’t want to date you, remember? I don’t like you.
Guy: C’mon, let’s go away for the weekend. Let’s go to St. John’s — I’ll pay.
Chick: That would make me a whore.
Guy: So, let’s go.
–Spring & Lafayette
Overheard by: S
Girl #1: Did you like it?
Girl #2: Yeah. It was amazing.
Girl #1: What about Eric?
Girl #2: He wants to become a gay cowboy now.
–Mary Ann’s Restaurant, 2nd Avenue & 5th Street
Overheard by: Overly Attentive Diner
Gay #1: How is being gay going for you?
Gay #2: I don’t really jibe with the culture.
Gay #1: Like what?
Gay #2: The music.
–7A Cafe, East Village
Tween girl #1: I don’t understand why anyone would be pro-life.
Tween girl #2: Yeah, I’m gonna get my tubes tied once I’m old enough.
–16th & 2nd
Overheard by: alex duncan
Queer #1: It is so difficult for me to explain… like, it really hurts to be treated that way, and sometimes I just need to stop and focus on the pain and learn why it bothers me so much.
Queer #2: Why don’t you talk to your therapist about it?
Queer #1: She won’t let me talk about that stuff.
–1 train
Overheard by: Brina Guild
