Overexcited teenage girl, picking up a copy of Alice Sebold's Lucky: Oh my god. Do not read this book. It will make you want to kill yourself, and the author.
Bored teenage boy: Really? I'm not that… depressed or anything.
Overexcited teenage girl: Neither was I!
–Columbia University Bookstore
Overheard by: amused bookseller
Goofy guy, trying and failing to pick up a stranger: The thing is, I had a big fight with my girlfriend this morning.
Woman (about to get off bus): Oh, sorry. That's never easy…my advice to you is, reconcile.
Goofy guy: Yeah, well, but she's a little bipolar.
–Westbound 57 Bus
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Girl #1: I think he is bipolar.
Girl #2: Umm…he's dyslexic. There's a big difference.
–Frank Sinatra School of the Arts High School
Headline by: PeterG
Runners-Up:
· “Bi-Curious Perhaps?” – muppet show
· “Either Way He’d Make a Perfect Phys Ed Instructor” – Ron D.
· “I’m Sorry…I Meant Diqolar” – Slater
· “You Say ‘Tomato’, I Say ‘Fuck You, I’ll Cut You!'” – Frank Vasquez
Hippie #1: Girl, I think it might be beneficial for me to go to therapy.
Hippie #2: Oh, you should go to the girl my friend uses — it’s only 20 bucks a session!
Hippie #1: Then why does she still cut herself?
–E 60th & Madison
Guy: I guess I’d rather be bulimic than anorexic.
Girl: Oh, why?
Guy: Well, I guess it’s the more satisfying eating disorder, cause you can taste yourself getting skinnier every time you vomit!
–40th & Park
Overheard by: Mal
Girl in Mets jersey: My sister put me on anti-anxiety pills and now I'm gonna kill her!
Guy in Mets jersey: Rad! Go Mets!
–59th St & Roosevelt Ave
Overheard by: Stephen's Wife
Spanish chick #1: Some people are so stupid.
Spanish chick #2: You know what I’m saying?
Spanish chick #3: I’m studying psychology with a friend of mine and he said that this kid he knows got caught stealing but–get this, right?–the kid said he is not a thief he is just a kleptomaniac.
–Clothing store, 106th & 3rd
Overheard by: pimsluer
Businessman: He needs a good beating. He’s starting to lose his mind.
–Midtown office
Hobo: I was talking to my therapist and she said, “Would you rather hurt yourself or someone else?” And I started to say “myself” but then I thought she didn’t want to hear that. So I told her that I would hurt someone else. That seemed more sane.
–1 train
Overheard by: James Gillece
Girl: I wanted to do something like Jenny On The Block. You know: Jennifer Lopez. My character is really hot, but she looks a little psycho.
–13th St. & 3rd Ave.
Teenage girl: Bitch! I did not give you syphilis. I gave you crabs.
–13th St. & 2nd Ave.
Overheard by: Chris Carter
Asian boy: If I could name you anything, it would be “titty”.
–F train
Overheard by: Nathalie
