Questions

Gay man: Oh my god, look!
Gayer man: What? That dead baby or those shoes?
Gay man: Yeah, the shoes.

–48th & Broadway

Overheard by: Shane

Man, looking at stage: Why are there shrimp hanging on the wall?
Girlfriend: Those aren't shrimp, they're horses' heads! This isn't a musical!

—Equus

Overheard by: Hope

Girl #1: Have you ever been to Flushing?
Girl #2: What's the point of this question?
Girl #1: It's not even a question, I'm just asking you!

–LaGuardia High School

Overheard by: vieve

Conductor: Hoboken train. Hoboken, Hoboken, Hoboken.
Man with earbuds, yelling to passengers: Is this the Hoboken train?

–PATH Station

Girl #1, in dressing room: How are these pants?
Girl #2: They're too tight.
Girl #1: They's supposed to be tight.
Girl #2: But not so tight to where I can see the outline of your twat!

–Gap, Colmbus Circle

Overheard by: chokedwithlaughter

Hipster dude: So what was the special going away gift he gave you?
Hot Latin chick: He let me sign his nuts this time! He's so fucking hot.
Hipster dude: Um…this time?
Hot Latin chick: Yeah, for my birthday I signed his penis.
Hipster dude: Stupid question…did you do anything else with it?
Hot Latin chick: Dude? I'm not a slut! …jeez, man.

–Bar, Williamsburg

Overheard by: likethisstupid

Employee in fitting room: You all just cut those women in line.
Woman in line: No, they said that they weren't in line. Right? Isn't that what they told all of you too?
Employee: But they were here before all of you in line now, you can't cut them.
Woman: They said that it was okay. I wouldn't just jump ahead of people. I'm Italian, but I do have limits.

–Loehmann's, Upper West Side

New Yorker: That's melted snow.
Female Asian visitor: What? But it's so dirty. It doesn't look like snow at all.
New Yorker: It's mixed with the dirt.
Female Asian visitor: Oh, I thought it was a dead dog!
New Yorker: What? Are you crazy?
Female Asian visitor: Wait. I need to take a picture of this.

–Midtown

Student: Could you go over question number 3?
Professor, laughing maniacally: Ha ha ha ha ha!
Student, questioningly: Ha ha ha ha?

–NYU

Big black guy selling CDs: Hey, pretty lady…you like black people?
Girl: No.
Black guy: That's so cold.
Girl's friend, whispering loudly: Did you just say no? He's going to shoot you.

–Herald Square

Overheard by: i dont like them either