Student: Could you go over question number 3?
Professor, laughing maniacally: Ha ha ha ha ha!
Student, questioningly: Ha ha ha ha?
–NYU
Student: Could you go over question number 3?
Professor, laughing maniacally: Ha ha ha ha ha!
Student, questioningly: Ha ha ha ha?
–NYU
Big black guy selling CDs: Hey, pretty lady…you like black people?
Girl: No.
Black guy: That's so cold.
Girl's friend, whispering loudly: Did you just say no? He's going to shoot you.
–Herald Square
Overheard by: i dont like them either
Girl #1: Why am I holding your bag?
Girl #2: Because it was constraining my bubble!
–E Train
Overheard by: olivejuice
Annoying comedy ticket seller: Want to see comedians?
Passer by: No.
Annoying comedy ticket seller: Why not? Everyone loves to laugh!
Passer by: Still no, leave me alone.
Annoying comedy ticket seller: Well, if you don't like laughing, what do you do with your spare time?
Passer by, fed up: Masturbate!
–42nd & 8th
Woman: You think that's bad…I did blow off my boyfriend's rock-hard abs on my kitchen counter…and I'm married with three kids.
Friend: Did he do blow off your boobs?
Woman: No…it'd fall off!
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: Victoria
Crazy dude: Hey, can I have a sample?
Barista: I'm sorry?
Crazy dude: A sample of your coffee.
Manager: Sir! I told you last week not to come in here anymore.
Crazy dude: Huh?
Manager: Don't you remember when you threw a cup of coffee, hot coffee, at one of my baristas?
Crazy dude: No.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Flea
Headline by: drkipper
Runners-Up:
· “I Was Just Venti-ng” – fuvvcckkk
· “In His Defense, No One Else Thinks That It’s Really Coffee Either” – Peter G.
· “Naomi Campbell’s Lesser Known Brother Strikes Again” – Jakal
· “The Sequel to “Memento” Lacks the Narrative Drive Of the First” – Toby
· “You Should See What He Did at the Sex Shop Down the Street” – Charlie
Woman on cell: I'd love to watch football with you. I'll even hold the balls.
–92nd & Lexington
Boyfriend to guy sitting between him and his girlfriend: Hey man, can you slide over? I need some ball space over here.
–Uptown 4 Train
20-something chick: I aim for as many balls as possible.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Meister
Woman to male Target employee: Do you have balls? (brief awkward pause) Like playing ones…
–Target, Queens
Mother to kids: Okay, raise your hand if you don't have balls! (group of boys eagerly raise their hands)
–LIRR
Overheard by: Chadwick
Puzzled guy on cell: What kind of girl calls you a "cuddly wuddly bear" and doesn't go out with you?
–The Village
Overheard by: Greene
Hobo: Hey there, folks! I'm Yogi Bear! Have you seen Ranger Rick?
–Gray's Papaya
Overheard by: Zach
Woman on cell: I'm glad the evil bear didn't kill you in your sleep!
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Drunk girl to sober companion: Oh my god, I saw this dog the other day. It was a bear!
–Tick-Tock Diner
Outraged girl on cell: She's anti-polar bear?
–NYU Campus
Overheard by: nina
Guy sitting at bar: I live in the ghetto. And there's a lot of crackheads. But I'm not attracted to them.
–Mojito Loco, Brooklyn
Crackhead to gay boy: Yo, gay boy! When a crackhead asks you a question you answer!
–110th St Station
Guy to friend: The only reason I quit cigarettes was because crack ended up being cheaper.
–NYU Bobst Library
Girl on cell: Well, it's a good thing you didn't buy that crack then. (pause) Oh.
–Columbia University College Walk
Asian lady in geisha costume, passing out fliers: Lunch specials, grand opening, fresh sushi!
Black dude: Excuse me, but me and my friend had a bet…are you dressed like girls from the movie Memoirs of Engagement?
–53rd & Lexington
Overheard by: An
