Teen girl: God, you are so self-conscious sometimes I want to punch you in the face.
–A train
Overheard by: Niki
Teen girl: God, you are so self-conscious sometimes I want to punch you in the face.
–A train
Overheard by: Niki
Girl: And he’s like, “Are you pregnant?”
Guy: Is that how straight people ask if you got laid?
Girl: No, but I’m kinda worried.
Guy: Yeah. My friends from high school got pregnant like one after the other.
Girl: Ew.
Guy: It was like abort over here, abort over there.
Girl: I’m scared.
Guy: We was killing baby fetuses every week.
–Christopher & Gay
Drunk guy on cell: Hello?
Lady on speaker: Larry, where are you? When are you coming home?
Drunk guy on cell: Who’s this?
–Russian Vodka Room, West 52nd Street
Guy #1: Yo, she want me to give her a kid, son. She only 28. I’m like, you don’t need no kid when you 28. Just start in your thirties and have ’em back to back to back.
Girl: You make it sound pretty easy to have kids back to back. That’s hard on a woman.
Guy #1: And she ain’t the only one. Lots of girls want me to give them kids.
Girl: Your sperm is in high demand.
Guy #2: What do you want, man? You’re a good-looking guy.
Guy #1: I know. I’m hot. But sometimes it feels like a curse to be this hot.
–4 train
Yarmulke guy #1: Well, I mean, like for me one of the biggest issues was religiosity.
Yarmulke guy #2: So, was she more or less than you?
Yarmulke guy #1: Much less.
Yarmulke guy #2: Yeah?
Yarmulke guy #1: Let me just put it this way: two days after we broke up she was wearing pants.
–1 train
Construction guy: Well, she didn’t sound Chinese over the phone.
–Fulton & William
Queer #1: So, what did you think of him?
Queer #2: I don’t see what he sees in him.
Queer #1: And he’s poor.
Queer #2: No! Why is he with someone that homely if he doesn’t have
money?
Queer #1: And did you see his teeth?
Queer #2: There isn’t enough money for me to stick my dick in that
mouth.
–81st & Amsterdam
Girl: How come you don’t eat me out anymore?
Guy: You have ridiculously strong thighs.
Girl: So?
Guy: When you cum you crush my head.
Girl: Jesus, you’re such a pussy.
–L train
Girl #1: You should date the Jew; he would take you out to dinner and then they bone you.
Girl #2: Oh, as opposed to the Catholic ones that we just bone and skip dinner altogether?
–3rd Avenue & 10th Street
Teen boy #1: I hear that girls don’t like muscles, anyways.
Teen boy #2: Well, not creepy ones.
–R train
Overheard by: kk
