Professor: So when humans evolved to bipedalism and were walking on two legs instead of four, their sexual practices changed and they began to have face to face sex.
Guy in back of class: Well, I mean… it's not always face to face.
Professor: Well, it tends to be the most common and most comfortable way for bipeds to have sex.
(long pause)
Professor: I assume by your silence that you disagree.
–Barnard
Overheard by: You had to say that to the Prof???
Woman on phone: I am being nice, but I'm not going to describe to you in great detail what a bug looks like!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: R&L
Man in zoot suit: When I talk, I don't want you bitches saying nothing! I only wanna hear the cockroaches fornicating on the walls!
–F Train
Overheard by: Reagan
Hipster: It was like watching a praying mantis have a seizure.
–16th & 8th
Wasted girl on sidewalk: No, I am so upset, I am so upset, I lost the back of my phone and there is a bug, a bug!
–11th & Broadway
Old lady: She looks pretty much like a roach.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
NYU girl #1: You were talking to him so much last night. Were you feeling him?
NYU girl #2: I was feeling everyone last night. Literally.
–Bobst Library, W 4th St
Construction worker #1 to #2: I don't think I want a rub and tug. You want a rub and tug?
Construction worker #2: Is it spicy?
–Broadway & Waverly
Teen ghetto girl #1: But you’re 15! That’s 5 years. You’d be like a pedophile.
Teen ghetto girl #2: It’s not like I’m looking for a relationship. I just wanna bone.
Teen ghetto girl #1: I need to bring you to church. You need every kind of religion there is.
–1 train
Overheard by: inge
Construction worker #1: Want to have sex in the bathroom?
Construction worker #2: Not right now.
–E 28th St
Chick on cell: So I saw Damien last night…Yeah, he tried to sleep with me…No, I told him, “Damien, I’m not going to fuck you in the apartment where you live with your girlfriend slash fiance slash whatever!
–18th between 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Nick Braccia
Girl: All I know in Spanish is how to say “give it to me hard”.
Boy: But that’s all that matters.
–Apple Store, Prince Street
College girl #1: For two people who've been together for so long, Jen and Mike really haven't done much in bed. She was so surprised to hear how far I went with Steve.
College girl #2: I thought they've had sex?
College girl #1: Yeah, but he's never seen her boobs!!
College girl #2: They had sex and he's never seen her boobs? Nate has seen my boobs–does that make me a whore?
College girl #1: Steve has seen my boobs too…
College girl #2: Who is more of a whore?
College girl #1: Me–definitely me.
College girl #2: I don't think so.
College girl #1: Let's have a competition.
College girl #2: I met him over the internet!
College girl #1: Oh yeah! You win.
–Union Square
Drunk guy: You were mingling…and stuff!
Drunk girl: Nah, baby. I was mingling with you.
–11th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: HALLOWEEN
