Second grader #1: Hey, is your mama having a baby sister?
Second grader #2: No, she just likes to eat a lot.
–Schoolyard, Brooklyn
Second grader #1: Hey, is your mama having a baby sister?
Second grader #2: No, she just likes to eat a lot.
–Schoolyard, Brooklyn
High school girl #1: Ugh. Sorry about that. Why does everything I say sound so stupid? It's like a disease!
High school girl #2: It is a disease! I saw it on the Discovery Channel.
High school girl #1: Oh my god! Really? I should go see a doctor.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Celia
Angry black woman: Why these motherfuckers always wearing "right for life" buttons, philosophizing and shit?
–Dallas BBQ, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Mike H
Student: Aborting your baby is so boring now. Everyone does it.
–Bard High School Early College
Drunk loud teenage Latina: Ladies and gentlemen, I am a minority and I have never had an abortion!
–N Train
Overheard by: g-lime
Man on cell: Oh… Oh shit… Well, can't you just take a wire hanger and pull it out? Yeah, just stick the hanger in and pull it right out! Okay? Okay. Bye.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: marge
Fabulous gay guy: So, my coworkers at Olive Garden all wanted to go out for a picnic one day. Our one friend had to work though, so we told her to tell our boss she needed to go get an abortion and she actually did it!
–Life Cafe, Avenue B & 10th St
Overheard by: Rachel W.
Math professor: This weekend I saw an exhibit at the Staten Island Zoo about dinosaurs.
Blonde bimbette: You mean with real dinosaurs?
–College of Staten Island
NYU JAP on phone to mother (enraged): Ugh, mom! No! Wearing seasonally inappropriate outerwear will not make me sweat and lose weight!
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: Maeve
Woman in line with friend at Duane Reade, reading can of energy drink: Wait. There's carbs in here? Like bread carbs? Carbs are bread, right? Cause when people go on, like, a low carb diet, they don't eat any bread, right? But I still don't understand why there's bread in here. Whatever. It doesn't even taste like bread.
–Duane Reade
10-year-old kid to friend: So you're a year older than me, but you're 20 pounds lighter? That's fucked up.
–Christopher St & Waverly Place
Overheard by: sharknife
Girl: You know how some people are social drinkers? I'm a social eater.
–NYU
Overheard by: ninja z
Asian fashionista: Yeah, I think I'm like a size 12 in boys.
–Conde Nast Building
Overheard by: jackattack
Loud guy on cell: Actually, I can't be bulimic anymore because I have no gag reflex. I've been sucking too much cock.
–34th & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Alis
NYU guy: I'm like a centaur, if ya know what I mean.
–University & 4th St
Overheard by: sarah
Female hipster to friends: Well, vampires are the new zombies!
–147th & Convent
Thuggish straight guy to another: Oh, I'd much rather be a faggot than a demon, dawg.
–Park Ave & Spring St
Overheard by: Christopher Schulz
Interviewer, trying to convince interviewee: There's not much of a future in being an elf.
–Macy's
Italian woman, staring at guy wearing Ghostbusters t-shirt: You donta lika da ghosts?
–Meatpacking District
Overheard by: Looking for my proton pack
NYU girl #1: I thought businesswomen were supposed to be self-confident and clean.
NYU girl #2: No, they’re just assertive and bitchy.
NYU girl #1, sighing: I hate having roommates.
–B train
Overheard by: Hoboken Biscuit
Teenager: Do you know where the Gay Pride Parade is?… I’m not gay!
–Astor Place
Guy: And so, this one gay guy in your office was wearing these pants, and his fly was open and this straight guy could see his penis, or some shit like that, right?
–9th St, Park Slope
Queer on cell: You really think she’s into gay guys?
–NYU
Guy, pointing to gay hipster: That’s like “I like it in the bum” written in hair.
–Peculier Pub, Bleecker St
Overheard by: Mad
Mom, to young son: It’s not a matter of being gay or not, darling. I just won’t let you participate in your school play.
–Broadway
Girl: Well, I couldn’t really sing the last part. We were both on our backs with our legs wide open. The only redeeming fact is that he was gay!
–Corbin Plaza, Brighton Beach
Overheard by: Anti-Traffic Girl
Flamboyant tween boy: I hate health class! You know what I’m going to do in health class today? I’m going to tell the teacher I’m gay! And that I like to suck dick!
–5th Ave, Park Slope
Catholic School boy #1: Man, I can call a bitch a bitch if I wanna call her a bitch.
Catholic School girl: Nah, you can’t call a girl a bitch. It’s offensive, stupidass.
Catholic School boy #2: Yeah man, I don’t call ’em bitch no more. Now, I call ’em broads.
Catholic School boy #1: Nah, I ain’t callin’ you a bitch cause you bitchin’. I’m calling you a bitch cause that’s just what you call ’em. It’s a colloquialism.
–6 train
Overheard by: Jacob Feldman
Girl #1: I am so wasted. I got molested by some Mexican at this sleepover party thing.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Yeah, I woke up and everyone was fighting cause he touched my boobs. I think there’s some law saying that you can’t molest someone while they’re sleeping.
Girl #2: Actually, I think there’s a law saying you can’t molest someone, period.
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: if walls had ears
