Businessman lady: I’ll have a light latte please, with brown sugar. You do have brown sugar, don’t you?
Countergirl: Um, no.
Businessman lady: Well, then give me your finest, finest grade sugar, all right?
Countergirl: Oh. Sure.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, 93rd & 1st
Overheard by: Gina Loiacono
Girl #1: We need to think of a nationality for me.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: Because at parties people always ask me what I am and I feel so boring saying “white”.
Girl #2: Say you’re Australian.
Girl #1: And Argentinian. I’m gonna be Australian and Argentinian.
–1 train
Guy #1: Did you know Bush agreed to share nuclear technology with the Indians?
Guy #2: Why do Indians need it? Oklahaoma is already a part of the US.
Guy #1: Dude, Indians as in citizens of India, a country in Asia.
Guy #2: I was never good at history.
Guy #1: You mean geography.
Guy #2: Asshole.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: margaret
Guy: The only reason she was hanging out with those dudes is because she was hoping that one of them would kill me…But that’s neither here nor there.
–6 train
Dude: Shit man, slow down. Slow down. Whatcha runnin’ to?Yoga? Nigga’s runnin’ to yoga. White man runnin’ to yoga. Thought yoga was supposed to cure that shit.
–Union Square
Girl #1: So… does the express go faster than the local?
Girl #2: I think it builds up momentum.
–1 train
Overheard by: Pitr
Queer #1: Overheard made me straight.
Queer #2: Huh?
Queer #1: Overheard in New York, the website?
Queer #2: I know what it is. How the fuck could it make you straight?
Queer #1: Well, there was this picture….of a body without a head…and it looked like a guy…a hot one, so I emailed–
Queer #2: You emailed someone about a headless pic on a website?
Queer #1: Don’t judge! You do it on Manhunt all the time! Whatever, so the guy who runs the website is all, “No, it’s a girl. Ha, ha, ha, you like girls.” He revoked my gay card.
Queer #2: That’s what you get for headless picture hunting on the internet.
Queer #1: Shut up, bottomboimanhattan24. You’re one to talk.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: I was nearly dying. I’m not sure if the original story is true, but if so, this is hysterical.
Oh, it’s true:
Guy #1: Cato worked his way into power through his ororatorical…ororitary…He talked good.
Guy #2: I think that was meta-irony.
–116th & Broadway
Old lady: I like this address book, but I want one with ABCs on the side.
Store guy: Well, this one has tabs, but no letters…
Old lady: Why don’t you have any that have ABCs?
Store guy: This collection was made in Japan…
Old lady: And what, they don’t go by ABCs there?
–MoMA Design Store, West 53rd Street
Girl #1: It’s not that I hated history, I just hated all the
memorization. All the names, and dates, and places. And the wars! I mean, how am I supposed to remember whether Hitler was in World War I or World War II?
Girl #2: I think he had his own war.
–Office, 34th & Lexington
Overheard by: Fat Clown
