Dude #1: Yo, what’s up?
Dude #2: I know what’s going up.
Dude #1: The price of stamps?
Dude #2: This elevator don’t go down till the passengers get off. A samurai won’t sheath their sword without the taste of blood…Fool, my penis! Damn, you just broke the elevator. Way to go, homo.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Gary Wattson
Dude #1: We were discussing the Holocaust in my class, and there was this really hot guy in it, and all I could think about was fucking him.
Dude #2: Fucking a guy in the Holocaust? Ew.
–1st Avenue & 12th Street
Suit on cell: It’s sex: somebody’s always taking advantage of someone else…Oh shit, this girl just gave me a look. That’s gonna be on Overheard tomorrow, I just know it.
–45th & Lexington
Overheard by: No, not her
Hobo: Yeah man, that’s good shit. Except for those white-ass American bandstand drummers. Whoever heard of fucking Clark Kent playing bongos?
–55th & 9th
Overheard by: Luke Reynolds
Girl on cell: Oh my God, I am like so uncoherent today.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Athens Mol
Girl: If anybody is gonna bring back the cape it will probably be a
lesbian.
–Borders, Time Warner Center
Chick #1: Oh, you’re wearing your hair open today!
Chick #2: “Open”?
Chick #1: Well, you know what I mean…
Chick #2: Oh, yeah. It’s open like a brothel.
Chick #1: What?
Chick #2: It’s open like a brothel.
–Barnard College
Woman: I don’t know where we are?
Usher guy: Lady, you’re in Manhattan.
–Circle in the Square Theater, 50th & Broadway
Guy #1: You know the reason why human beings are not at the top of the food chain?
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: Pez.
–Washington Square Park
Guy #1: So you don’t eat beef, huh?
Guy #2: Nah, man.
Guy #1: You’re that religious that you don’t eat beef?
Guy #2: Yeah, I guess.
Guy #1: Well, you’ve got cheese on your grilled chicken, what about that?
Guy #2: What about it?
Guy #1: Well, you’re killing the cow.
Guy #2: No, I’m not…
Guy #1: Oh, well, what about cows that drink cow’s milk?
–Hayden Dining Hall, Washington Square West
Overheard by: Calvin T.
