The Village

Woman: So they’re paying the kidnappers child support? I mean I know they want to support their child, but where is the money going? To those crazy people.

–L train

Overheard by: Kelly Marie

Waitress: Do you have a baby in that bag?
Teen girl: No, I have books.
Waitress: Oh, well, it’s almost like a baby.

–Chat ‘n’ Chew, East 16th Street

Overheard by: Tourist in Town

Guy #1: Why don’t we make him escaping a bank robbery?
Guy #2: Okay, he just robbed a bank and now he’s eating lunch with his girlfriend.

–12th & University

Overheard by: reggae sarkar

Guy #1: You should feel honored to live in New Jersey.
Guy #2: I like living in Jersey. It just really sucks commuting here every day.
Guy #1: It’s like the Jews being kosher. It’s the price you pay for being chosen.

–12th & 5th

Girl #1: Randy won’t stop coming on my face.
Girl #2: …Are you going to finish your bagel?

–Waverly & University

Overheard by: S.A.F.

Girl #1: I don’t understand why he’s so popular.
Girl #2: It’s obviously because he’s a drug dealer.

–Broadway between Grand & Howard

Dealer guy: Hey man, buy some weed?
Yuppie guy: Sure. And while I’m at it, why don’t I just not send my
kids to school, get them addicted to heroin, and leave them on the
street to die?
Dealer guy: You sure you don’t want some weed?

–Washington Square Park

Woman #1: God, that was so funny when all of those Nazis walked into the courtroom and their hairstyles were like Hitler’s!
Man: Well, I mean, it makes sense, I guess. You know, people always copy famous people when it comes to stuff like that.
Woman #2: Yeah, like remember when I had that terrible Dorothy Hamill haircut?

–Houston Street station

Teen boy: Somewhere out there…someone is getting laid.

–Empire State Building