Ranting woman: We should be boycotting products from all those big corporations like Microsoft, and General Motors, and Nike, and–
Hobo: Shut the fuck up before the corporation gets to you and tortures you to death.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Ting
Gay man: Have you ever smelled your ass, after you buttfuck?
–18th & 6th
Overheard by: Dana
Chick #1: That one guy’s kinda cute, but I think he’s gay.
Chick #2: Yeah, but I don’t think he knows it yet. Go for it.
–Fat Black Pussy Cat, W. 3rd Street
Overheard by: Djlindee
Guy #1: I got a letter from Rosalyn & Jimmy Carter.
Guy #2: Oh really? How are they doing?
Guy #1: Good, they want money.
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: Carl
Man, in Los Angeles: Cialdini’s Influence is the classic psychological book about how and why people are convinced.
Woman: Ah, I should read that so I can learn to convince myself of things.
Fat lady: I wanna return this.
Store guy: Why?
Fat lady: Is too small, wanna large.
Guy: Receipt says you bought it a month ago; what happened to you?
Fat lady: I got pregnant, motherfucker!
–Foot Locker, Queens Mall
Overheard by: Steve Kinsella
Guy #1: The girl with the tattoo on her breast.
Guy #2: Oh yeah, yeah. She got a huge booty. That shit be a jigglypuff.
Guy #1: Yeah, for real. I just wanna grab that shit.
Guy #2: Yeah, but she got hairy legs.
Guy #1: You seen ’em?
Guy #2: Hell yeah, she showed me.
Guy #1: But, you know, it’s winter. Girls be gettin’ sloppy in wintertime.
Guy #2: I don’t care, man. That shit’s atrocious.
–4 train
Girl in stall: Oh, shit, I dropped my phone in the toilet!
The phone rings.
Girl in stall: And how the hell am I supposed to answer that now?!
–2nd Ave Deli bathroom
Overheard by: Rue Silver
Guy #1: Yo, I don’t even believe in water, alls I drink is Pepsi.
Guy #2: Yep yep, water’s for pussies.
–47th & 9th
20-something woman: You’re going to worship my mother when you meet her.
Man: I will?
Woman: Yes. Because I do.
— Pizzeria, Boerum Hill
