Wednesday One-Liners Still Can’t Get Over Joey Picking Pacey (That Dumb Bitch)

Girl on cell: We got Chinese cable because it was cheaper than the cheap cable…Yeah, it’s all in Chinese…Whatever. As long as I watch things that I’ve already seen, I don’t need to actually know what they’re saying.

–N train, Astoria

Queer, on cell: Have you seen Victoria’s boyfriend lately? He looks great. She’s better than Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

–Eckerd, Astoria

Mother, to kids: Sorry we just missed the fireworks, guys. It’s okay, though. I TiVoed it at home just in case.

–79th St entrance, FDR

Tourist, after eagerly struggling for camera air-time: You know what, Ma, I don’t think we’re gonna be able to watch this — it only airs today.

–Taping of the Today Show, Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Stephen and Allison

Girl: Well, today they had a woman who was born a man who married a man who was born a woman, so don’t shit on Maury Povich!

–New York Public Library

Overheard by: Actually READING at the Library

Guy: Sweet Sixteen? That show makes me understand terrorism.

–114th & Broadway

Posted on January 4, 2016
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Celebrities, D-List, Fashion, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Kids, Language Barrier, Manhattan, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On Cell, On the Subway, Parents, People, Places, Pop Culture, Queens, Queers, Terrorism, Topics, Tourists, Trannies, TV, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Give Backhanded Compliments

Guy, to girl: Smart girls are never pretty. That’s why you’re a dumbass.

–Union Turnpike station platform

Overheard by: Erna

Hobo: Ain’t no good here, only cheap. Cheap, cheap, and very cheap. And very beautiful.

–L train, Bedford Ave station

Posted on January 3, 2016
Beauty, Brooklyn, Girls, Guys, Hobos, On the Subway, People, Places, Topics

He’ll Be Happy to Share Some WD-40 Memories with You, Though

Preppy guy #1: I hate geese shit on fields.
Preppy guy #2: It’s not so bad. It’s a good lubricant for when you slide-tackle people. You know, you just keep sliding…
Preppy guy #3: Dude, I can’t remember the last time I jerked off using geese shit. It can’t be that good a lubricant!

–Central Park

Posted on November 5, 2015
Animals & Nature, Central Park, Manhattan, Masturbation, People, Places, Poop, Preppies, Sex, Sports, Topics

Which, Luckily, is Self-Propelled, as Seen in Ghostbusters 2

Woman, talking about the Italian feast in Williamsburg: And they have games and rides and food. And at the end of the week they get strong men together to carry the statue.
Tourist: The Statue of Liberty?

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: just the driver

Posted on August 27, 2015
Brooklyn, Ethnic Food, Food, Parades & Festitivites, People, Places, Statue of Liberty, Topics, Tourists, Williamsburg, Women

May/December Wednesday One-liners

Girl: Man, this old dyke is digging on me, but I want some penis
these days.

–3rd between B & C

Guy: Man, old pussy is the best! She has 50 years of dick sucking experience.

–124th & Manhattan

Overheard by: Jason Steinhauer

Queer on cell: Ever since I lost my hair I’ve had 20 year olds chasing me around like I’m an ice cream cone.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Squatporpoise

Girl: Oh yeah, that guy you saw me with Sunday? He lets me watch him have sex with boys.

–NYU School of social work

Overheard by: Maggie

Posted on August 3, 2015
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, BJs, Body Parts, College, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Girl-on-Girl, Hair, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Junk Food & Fast Food, Kink, Lesbians, Long Island, NYU, Old People, Penis, People, Places, Private Parts, Queer guys, Queers, School, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Sexuality, The Village, Topics, Trains Not Subway, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Venues

Wednesday One-liners Are Captive-bred

Guy: I’m so horny, I would fuck a mule…but only if it gave me head first.

–7 train

Overheard by: Ron Jackson

Posted on August 1, 2015
Animals & Nature, Beastiality, BJs, Horny, On the Subway, People, Places, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Topics

Cue the Least Romantic Song Ever

Thug #1: Kelly Bundy’s dancing on Broadway.
Thug #2: She naked?
Thug #1: She broke both her legs. I think she in a wheelchair.
Thug #2: She naked?
Thug #1: I bet she dance good. She hot.
Thug #2: I’d break her clit if I had the chance.

–F train

Girl: If I hear another show tune out of context I think I’m going to vomit. Physically vomit. You know that feeling?
Guy: Uh, no.

–42nd between 9th & 10th

Posted on August 1, 2015
About Celebrities, B-List, Body Parts, Broadway Shows, Celebrities, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, On the Subway, People, Places, Pop Culture, Port Authority, Private Parts, Sex, Show business, Theater & Dance, Thugs, Topics, Vagina

Don’t Go Past the Sale

Old Man: They have salads here. Next time we should just come early and eat here.
Old Lady: Okay, we could try that next time.
Old Man: They have Caesar salads, and cobb salads, and pasta salads–
Old Lady: That sounds good. We’ll try it next time.
Old Man: –they have California salads, and tuna salads, and–
Old Lady: Okay, Harvey! We’ll eat here next time!
Old Man: …they have sandwiches, too.

–Avery Fischer Hall

Overheard by: Heather

Posted on July 22, 2015
Food, Manhattan, Old People, People, Places, Restaurants & Cafes, Theater & Dance, Topics, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Caffeine: Mortgaging Your Physiological Future

Old lady #1: So I think maybe that’s the problem with New Yorkers.
Old lady #2: No decaf?
Old lady #1: Yep, no decaf. That’s the problem.

–Starbucks, 102nd & Broadway

Posted on July 20, 2015
Coffee, Food, Manhattan, Old People, People, Places, Restaurants & Cafes, Starbucks, Topics, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Venues

Topics