Wednesday One-liners Get Baked

Jamaican woman: Oh mahn, I used to get so high and den turn on dat Spanish channel so loud and just sit in front of it and listen.

–34th & 8th

Overheard by: Future NYer

Posted on February 22, 2006
Black People, College, Drugs, Fordham, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Smokers & Smoking, The Bronx, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side

Wednesday One-liners for Fuck Machines

Old lady: No, Henry, trust me. You were never a fuck machine, and I certainly did know how to fake it.

–113th & Broadway

Overheard by: Marc Mitchell

Posted on February 22, 2006
Brooklyn, College, Columbia (& Barnard), Elevators, Food, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Junk Food & Fast Food, Kink, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Pick-up Lines, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Suits, Teens, The Village, Trains Not Subway, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, White People

Twister is Easier with Corpses

Suit #1: So how many tombstones do we have?
Suit #2: Four.
Suit #1: All right. So we got the client, the CPA and the attorney…We gotta figure out how to get one more person involved.

–22nd & Broadway

Overheard by: E.B. Dresner

Posted on February 20, 2006
Death, Manhattan, Suits, Union Square and East Village

Don’t Look at Those Socks

Tween girl #1: Aren’t you gonna wash your hands?
Tween girl #2: I don’t need to. I flush with my foot
Tween girl #1: Do you also wipe with your foot?

–Union Square Regal Cinemas ladies’ room

Posted on February 17, 2006
Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Poop, Stall Spies, Teens, Union Square and East Village

Something‘s in the Air (Happy VD!)

Woman: Last month I thought I was in love with you. Now I realize I’m stupid.
Man: Stupid in love?
Woman: No. Just stupid.

–Union Square

Posted on February 14, 2006
Manhattan, Relationships, Sex & Relationships, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

The Noid Has Gotten Much Subtler

Queer #1: What should I get? I’ll have a falafel. Ha, ha!
Queer #2: I’ll have one of these lamb slices.
Pizza guy: Eggplant.
Queer #2: No, one of these.
Pizza guy: That’s eggplant.
Queer #2: Oh…Well, it looked like lamb.
Queer #1: I’m gonna throw caution to the wind and get a cheese slice.
Queer #3: That’s not lamb. Maybe you should ask for a duck confit slice.

–Sal’s, 7th & A

Overheard by: Domi

Posted on January 31, 2006
Food, People, Pizza, Queers, Restaurants & Cafes, Union Square and East Village

Hamas Has Won Here, Too

Man: Is this kosher?
Vendor guy: Um…there’s kosher salt in the bacon.

–Union Square

Posted on January 31, 2006
Food, Jews, People, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers

Guys Like That Much More

Asian girl: I really like sleep sex.
White girl #1: What’s that?
Asian girl: You know, when you’re sleeping and you wake up and you’re having sex. Sleep sex.
White girl #2: You mean getting raped?

–1st Avenue & 9th Street