Chick #1: How long did it take Corey to tell you he loved you?
Chick #2: I don’t know…I was drunk.
–Union Square
Chick #1: How long did it take Corey to tell you he loved you?
Chick #2: I don’t know…I was drunk.
–Union Square
Short guy: You owe me money.
Hefty guy: I don’t owe you shit, Goldilocks! Don’t make me fucking slap you.
Short guy: I thought it was Erin Go Bragh, not Erin Go Fuck You Up.
–N train
Drunk Irish guy #1: So what are you ladies doing after this?
Drunk Irish girl #1: More bar hopping.
Drunk Irish guy #2: So you ladies into having some fun tonight?
Drunk Irish girl #2: What do you mean?
Drunk Irish guy #2: We could have one big drunken orgy.
Drunk Irish girl #2: Are you kidding me? Go blow out your ass, stupid.
Drunk Irish guy #2: OK, how about I feel those big tits?
Drunk Irish girl #1: You are an idiot.
Drunk Irish guy #2: Fuck you, you fat bitch.
The guys walk away.
Drunk Irish girl #3: Why did you have to say that for?
Drunk Irish girl #2: He was being a jerk.
Drunk Irish girl #3: But they are cute.
Drunk Irish girl #2: Yeah, you right.
–44th & 8th
Overheard by: kendra
Sort of drunk guy: You’re getting more beer? You can barely walk.
Really drunk guy: That’s no reason to stop drinking.
–Saint Mark’s Place & 3rd Ave.
HS girl: OK, OK, I got it. This will solve everyone’s problems: Jamal, you need to eat Anna out.
–Union Square
Man on cell: I would fucking marry the girl, if it wasn’t for every time I went down on her she tasted like hummus.
–3rd Ave. & 11th St.
Tourist: You can tell it’s raining because everybody here has umbrellas.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Joel Guilbert
Nut: I have powers, she has powers, and she knows that I have powers!
–Astor Place
Queer: Thursday nights are the best nights if you like NYU Guys!
–11th St. & 1st Avenue
Overheard by: Rachel W
Hobo: Folks, help me out. I am trying to get my rotor blade fixed on my helicopter!
–W. 10th and 7th Ave
Overheard by: Alex Wipf
Connecticut woman: It was such a joke among my friends; I was always going out with artists or unemployed people…which I guess is the same thing.
–Cuppa Cuppa, East Village
Girl on cell: I knew it was over when I grabbed his shirt and he told me I was pulling his hair.
–Bleecker & W. 11th
Overheard by: Alaska
Guy: Yeah, but the guy’s the Michael Jackson of dishwashing…
–Houston Street & Avenue B
Overheard by: Andrew Williams
Pedestrian #1: I’m fucking handicapped. I can park anywhere I want to.
Pedestrian #2: If you’re handicapped, how come you’re walking?
Pedestrian #1: It ain’t my legs that’s handicapped.
–3rd between A & B
Overheard by: Abby
Intellectual: Man, I was reading the Koran the other day. It’s such bullshit; the Bible is way better.
–7B, East Village
