Teenage girl: So do you get it now?!
Dad: I know honey…J. Lo.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Katia
Teenage girl: So do you get it now?!
Dad: I know honey…J. Lo.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Katia
British chick: I just solved my lunch problem, because I hate raw cheese.
–27th Street office
Guy: Bitch, you better give me back my donuts or I’ll pull out your weave.
–Washington Heights
Overheard by: Vinson Guthreau
Guy: Nothing like going to Chuck E. Cheese to make you start drinking again.
–82nd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: JY
Lady: This is a yuppie McDonald’s. It’s all middle class people here.
–McDonald’s, 47th Street
Overheard by: Christa Bramberger
As a Brooklyn Brewery delivery truck passed a toddler on the sidewalk yelled: I love beer!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: tee sul
Bartender: If the Burp Castle ever closes it means the death of classical music in New York.
–Burp Castle bar, E. 7th Street
Guy on cell: Is this like that time where Laura told me that cat food was Lucky Charms?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Cynthia
Guy: That’s crazy, man. That’s worse than crazy, that’s fucking psychotic! Seventy dollars for a fucking permit. Seventy, eighty dollars for a moving violation, that I understand. But seventy dollars for a fucking permit? The fucking well is running dry!
–Prospect Avenue station
Overheard by: Alison
Teen girl: Let’s order together but have them put it in separate bags. We’ll pay less tax that way.
–Wendy’s, Union Square
Overheard by: Nathan Kipe
Tourist:…no, really! The streets are so clean!
–24th & Broadway
Overheard by: Manhattman
Waitress: Hey, would you mind taking that table for me?
Waiter: How come?
Waitress: That guy’s just a little too sassy for me.
–Chat n’ Chew, E. 16th Street
Overheard by: Gus Colletti
Crazy Hasid: Who are the three greatest Jewish lawyers of all time? Roy Cohen, Roy Cohen, Roy Cohen, Johnny Cochran, Alan Dershowitz. Who are the three greatest doctors of all time? Dr. Dolittle, Dr. Dolittle, Dr. Dolittle, Alan Dershowitz.
–F train
Overheard by: bluesdog
Jewess on cell: You know, I love Great Neck, but I don’t know. I have to consider it. I’m not super Jewish and he’s not super Jewish. And you know how Jews are. They can be nice to non-Jews, but they can be caustic to other Jews.
–Union Square
Lady: I just don’t get smoking, or people who smoke…smoking and bacon; I don’t get it.
–UWS elevator
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Woman #1: All of a sudden I see her jump on top of the kid and start humping her!
Woman #2: Oh God!
Woman #1: Yeah, and they’s only 5 years old! So I pull them apart and ask her why she was doing that to her.
Woman #2: And what did she say?
Woman #1: She said, “I saw my mommy doing it with her friend only her panties were on the floor.”
–Forever 21, Union Square
Overheard by: mousie
Customer: Christ, there are beautiful women every time I come in here.
Cashier: Yeah! All day long! It hurts!
–St. Mark’s Gourmet Market, St. Mark’s Place
Guy #1: What are you drinking?
Guy #2: Dos Equis. With a lime.
Guy #1: All Mexican beers come with limes.
Guy #2: Dude, all Mexicans come with limes.
–Croxley Ales, Avenue B
Lady: Girl, or all the hairs growin’ out of my face, I’d take your wart in a second.
–Bally Sports Club, Madison & 43rd
Overheard by: Heather Hunter
Trendy boy: God, I feel so bad farting next to all these really expensive cars.
–Jacob Javits Center
Overheard by: Lindsay
Dude on cell: …so I got into this fight last night and totally whaled on the dude…totally kicked his ass! His nose was bleeding and everything!….OK, I’ll see ya later. Peace.
–Coffee Shop, Union Square West
Woman: Don’t let your personal freedoms infringe on other people’s rights!
Girl: Who is she talking to?…Holy shit, I love crazy people.
–40th & Broadway
Yuppie chick #1: Pork, it’s the other other white meat.
Yuppie chick #2: No you idiot, that’s baby. Pork is just the other white meat.
–Bryant Park
