Teen girl: Hey, I’m a Scientologist.
Tom Cruise: Oh, really? What echelon are you in?
Teen girl: [awkwardly quiet] Uh… number three?
Tom Cruise: Exactly.
—Mission: Impossible III gala premiere, TriBeCa Film Festival, BMCC
Overheard by: mademoiselle schaeffer
Guy: [really loudly] Fuck! Shit! Boobs!
Girl: Stop it! Screaming profanities isn’t going to get you on Overheard in New York.
Guy: But today’s our last day in the city and it’s my last chance!
Girl: So you develop Tourette’s?
Guy: Shhh! Stop calling me a tourist!
–John & Water
Overheard by: Gillian
Guy: Damn, I worked so hard this weekend. Mexicans didn’t come out of their hiding holes.
Girl: Hiding holes?
Guy: Stupid immigration shit, I’m going to slap every Republican back to Texas where they can pick their own fruit.
–St. John’s
A bunch of black high school kids in ghetto garb pass two preppily dressed white girls and make loud catcalls at them.
White girl #1: Where the fuck did they come from?
White girl #2: Um, someone took a shit in the sky.
–Outside Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Mexican On Wheels
Guy #1: I know, I need to get my license.
Guy #2: Son, I’m telling you when you get that shit you’ll be walking along like you are King Jafee-Jafee of Zamundo.
–Wall Street
Overheard by: Matthew Innes
Man: Isn’t “volvo” the medical term for a vagina?
–Jacob Javits Center
Overheard by: Tesla
Twentysomething girl #1: After seeing that last body, I understand how he really did break his penis last year.
Twentysomething girl #2: Yeah, and you said he was just faking it.
—Bodies Exhibit, South Street Seaport
Queer: This place is way gayer than last time.
–XL, West 16th street
Overheard by: straight girl
Suit: When you’re 25 and you measure your hourly rate in three digits it takes a hell of a lot of grief to not make it worthwhile.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Gabriel Stempinski
Guy: Yeah, it’s like all three of our neurons are coming together right now.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Phe
