Mother, to little boy: No, you cannot smell my armpit!

–Keyspan Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Jesse

Doctor on cell: Look, having knees doesn’t make you special.

–Oustide New York Presbyterian Hospital

Ghetto chick: When she’s asleep, I’m gonna squat on her brain.

–16th between 7th & 8th

Overheard by: alyssa

Father of little girl who has just hit her head: Did your brain fall out?

–Chili’s, Staten Island

Overheard by: Ada and Andi

Chick: His teeth are really straight. But that’s because he was home-schooled.

–Baskin Robbins, 23rd & 8th

Guy: Every time a girl sees my teeth, she’s like, “Naaah.” I’m gonna get this whole shit redone, where they take them all out and replace the whole thing. It costs like $20,000…Only thing is you have to go two months without any teeth.

–29th St & 33rd Ave, Astoria

Middle-aged man, to college girl in skirt: Excuse me, miss, you have very nice legs. Have you ever thought about doing voice-overs?

–31st & 6th

Overheard by: plo

Teenage boy: Who wants to play guess which body part am I fidgeting?

–North Gannon & Bradley, Staten Island

Overheard by: Shamrocknroll