West Village

Mother to small child: Well, the weather's nice today, so it's a good afternoon to go to the park, play on the playground, go on the swings, or attack daddy. (pause) Or…you know, whatever else you feel like doing.

–Gramercy

Overheard by: Max

Fancy woman waking out of building, on cell, during snow squall: It's either snow or debris. I can't tell.

–Grand Army Plaza

Overheard by: snow. trust me.

Five-year-old girl: It's snowing way too much in Columbus Circle! Fuck! I am going to file a complaint!

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: queenofscots

Older hot guy: It's as cold as a drunken French whore in the old Bastille days!

–W 4th St

Woman to neighbor: Hey, girl, do you see this snow? It's the end of the world!
(pause) Have a great day!

–140th St & Amsterdam

Nonchalant nerd, passing by vendor's booth: I like your space titties.
Shocked sexy space-suited booth babe: Oh, thanks. I like them too.

–Jacob Javits Center, ComicCon

Overheard by: Rob

Party girl, bending over to pet a dog tied to a mailbox: Hi, puppy!
Male friend: Don't do that, don't pet a strange dog.
Random black guy, barking: He gonna bite your hand!
Party girl: I'm going to bite your hand.
Random black guy: You bite my hand, I bite yo booty.

–Hudson & 10th

Overheard by: erkala

Young man: I wanna be a be a baby daddy!
Young woman: I feel like that would be an expensive hobby…

–Magnolia Bakery, West Village

Headline by: Deadbeat Dad

Runners-Up:
· “…Why I Chose Gold-Digging” – Fresca
· “Actually, the Government Pays For It” – Vasyl
· “Ask Flava Flav” – Emily Leonard
· “I’ll Be Following K-Fed’s “How to Be a Baby Daddy When You’re Broke As Hell” Program” – Meg
· “It’s Only Expensive If You Give a Shit…” – Amber
· “No Way, There’s Going to Be a Stimulus Plan For That Too!” – Derek
· “OK, Lemme Try This Another Way: I Wanna Fuck You.” – Sim Etrias
· “Who Said Anything About Financial Support?” – Keith the Geek
· “Yachting Is an Expensive Hobby; Baby Daddying Can Be Done on the Cheap!” – Drew

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Boy: Let's go sit down.
Girl, pointing to statues: Let's go see what those people are about.

–Christopher Park

Teenager #1: Yeah, I'm ambi-dicks-trous.
Teenager #2: What?
Teenager #1: Yeah, I can write with both my dicks.

–West Village

Tranny to friend: I shat all over his dick last night, and he licked it up off the floor.
Friend: Oh, honey!

–4th Ave & 12th St

Mom: Where do you want to eat honey?
Six-year-old daughter: Not a bar!

–West Village

Overheard by: Aidan

Yuppie mom #1: It's very blocks focused.
Yuppie mom #2: Blocks?
Yuppie mom #1: Yes, it's a very progressive school. They do very perverse things with the blocks.
Yuppie mom #2: Um, I don't think I understand.
Yuppie mom #1: You know, they use the blocks in literature, in math…if they want to play kitchen, they have to build the kitchen first. It's very progressive.

–12th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Jenny

Guy: So yeah, now she says she's dating Steve.
Chick: Steve the crackhead or pyromaniac Steve?
Guy: The one who isn't in prison.
Chick: I thought you were dating him.
Guy: He found religion. Or something.

–West Village