Black lady #1: So, what happened to her?
Black lady #2: She had to have her breast inplates removed! Can you believe that?
Black lady #1: Oh, shit!
–Jamaica Market food court
Overheard by: Pilar
Black lady #1: So, what happened to her?
Black lady #2: She had to have her breast inplates removed! Can you believe that?
Black lady #1: Oh, shit!
–Jamaica Market food court
Overheard by: Pilar
Suit: Sometimes I want to ask Dan* if he’s gay. I can’t figure out if he is or not.
Woman: Is he flamboyant?
Suit: Yeah, but that could be because he’s a southerner.
–550 Madison Ave
Overheard by: DrDorn
Hobo: Hey, doggie. Come here, doggie. Hey, hey, doggie. Come over here.
Woman, pulling dog away on leash: Come, Mikey! Come on!
Hobo, to passerby: You see that? Fuckin’ racist don’t want me touchin’ her dog ’cause I’m fuckin’ black!
Teen passerby: No, sir, it’s because you are homeless.
Hobo: Oh. Well, yeah. There’s that.
–Clinton & Montague, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Mike N
Woman: Breastfeeding her baby is not the same as taking a shit.
Man: Yeah, it is. It’s like shitting in the baby’s mouth.
–3rd & 2nd
Clerk: What about this one?
40-something woman looking at skin-tight, black leather mini dress: Hmmm… I like it, but do you have anything with a little less leather for church?
–Orchard St
Overheard by: what kind of church does she go to?
Young woman: I paid them a little bit. They paid for Mark to go to a 50 thousand dollar drug rehab and recovery program, so I think they’ll be willing to loan us a thousand.
Man: Maybe, but he was taking it up the butt for crack. I think that’s a whole different scenario.
–Staten Island Ferry
Old man picks loose string off back of woman’s coat: You’ve got something there… Ah, now you’re perfect!
Woman: Oh, well, thank you!
Old man: You believe that and you’ll believe anything.
–Stromboli’s Pizza, St. Mark’s & 1st Ave
Overheard by: shankalicious
Headline by: greg
Runners-Up:
· “Like Creationism…” – Drew
· “Now hold still while I examine you for breast cancer” – Zorak
· “On an unrelated note, my penis cures cancer” – Wes Mantooth
· “Puppetmaster IV: The Rude Awakening” – Chris
· “That’s What God Said To Adam & Eve, Too” – fritzy
Hobo: Fucking shit, asshole!
Lady passerby: Watch your mouth! I know you don’t talk to your mama like that!
Entire crowded platform: Oooh!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Charlie
Yuppie lady #1: I just love jogging around the reservoir in Central Park at dawn.
Yuppie lady #2: Yeah, it’s great… The only people out at that time are fitness fanatics and crackheads.
–Elevator, Time Warner Center
Girl: It’s like, ‘Hey, you’re a nice guy and I’ve got boobs… So let’s do something about this.’
–33rd & 7th
Dude: You would want to blow up the world, too, if your mother gave you a wolf titty to suck on.
–1 train
Metrosexual: I like boobs better than titties.
–Stuyvesant Town
Overheard by: Argopelter
B&T teen: I don’t know what you want me to do about my chest. I’m 17 years old! You want me to get implants? Would that make you happy, Mom?
–Dressing room, Macy’s, Herald Square
Woman on phone in cubicle: I borrowed that money to pay for my boob job. If they want to repossess them, they know where to find them.
–Office, Woolworth Building
Overheard by: Big Larry
Student: Why can’t I grab your boob in a totally care-free way?
–Lang cafeteria
