Hobo: Fucking shit, asshole!
Lady passerby: Watch your mouth! I know you don’t talk to your mama like that!
Entire crowded platform: Oooh!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Charlie
Hobo: Fucking shit, asshole!
Lady passerby: Watch your mouth! I know you don’t talk to your mama like that!
Entire crowded platform: Oooh!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Charlie
Yuppie lady #1: I just love jogging around the reservoir in Central Park at dawn.
Yuppie lady #2: Yeah, it’s great… The only people out at that time are fitness fanatics and crackheads.
–Elevator, Time Warner Center
Girl: It’s like, ‘Hey, you’re a nice guy and I’ve got boobs… So let’s do something about this.’
–33rd & 7th
Dude: You would want to blow up the world, too, if your mother gave you a wolf titty to suck on.
–1 train
Metrosexual: I like boobs better than titties.
–Stuyvesant Town
Overheard by: Argopelter
B&T teen: I don’t know what you want me to do about my chest. I’m 17 years old! You want me to get implants? Would that make you happy, Mom?
–Dressing room, Macy’s, Herald Square
Woman on phone in cubicle: I borrowed that money to pay for my boob job. If they want to repossess them, they know where to find them.
–Office, Woolworth Building
Overheard by: Big Larry
Student: Why can’t I grab your boob in a totally care-free way?
–Lang cafeteria
Woman #1: Oh, and he bought a cow.
Woman #2: He bought a cow?!
Woman #1: He just went off and bought a cow!
Woman #2: Huh… What he need a cow for?
–110th & Lenox
Woman in wheelchair: These models are fantastic!
Man pushing her: These aren’t models.
Woman in wheelchair: Oh, no!
–Bodies Exhibit, South St Seaport
Overheard by: Jablayblay
Young woman: You felt me up while I was asleep!
Lying man: How do you know, if you were asleep?
Young woman: You stuck your fingers in my pussy while I was asleep!
Lying man: Why would I do that? There’s nothing in there that I was looking for.
Lying man’s lawyer: Come on, don’t argue with her.
Young woman: If they find your fingerprints in my pussy you’re going to jail, motherfucker!
Lying man, taunting: What if I wore gloves?
Young woman: Hear that? He confessed!
–Hallway, Supreme Court, Bronx
Overheard by: Big Larry
Hobo: Excuse me, can you spare me some change?
Woman, pretending in bad Spanish: No hable engles.
Hobo: Shit! I gotta be bilingual to beg?!
–4th St subway station
Overheard by: Jessie
Woman #1: Well, have fun in Vegas.
Woman #2: Thanks. I want to win big and get laid.
Woman #1: Well, use protection, honey.
Woman #2: Is that a new product?
–Macy’s Herald Square
Crazy-haired woman: There’s lots of elderly people around here.
Lady: Well, it’s life.
Crazy-haired woman: Yes, but specifically in the San Fernando Valley.
Lady: Mmm-hmmm.
Crazy-haired woman: Where are you from?
Lady: New York.
Crazy-haired woman: You must be Jewish or Italian — which?
Lady: I’m Jewish.
Crazy-haired woman: Oh, the best people and the best meat.
Lady: Excuse me?
Crazy-haired woman: The Jews — they’re the best people and the best meat.
–Pharmacy
