On a related note, I think my pot dealer’s been ripping me off

Teen boy: Yo, why do they call it a quarter to 8? It’s 15 minutes, and 25 is a quarter.
Girl: Huh?
Teen boy: If I say a quarter to 8, what time is it? It’s 7:45, but that doesn’t make no sense, it should be 7:35, a quarter is 25 not 15. You still don’t get it do you?
Girl: No, I get it, I get it.
Boy: It just doesn’t make no sense.

–Q54 Bus, Queens

Overheard by: Emily

Headline by: Brian Q

Runners-Up:
· “At half past eight, he had a profound revelation” – born dumb and in denial
· “Cents and Sensibility” – Jeannine
· “Don’t get him started on “25 or 6 to 4″” – Morgan Charles
· “He may be dumb, but he’s perpetually early” – Josh H
· “Hobo: I’ll take either” – Jedipus
· “How Parking Meters Rip Us Off” – meter man
· “Kid has a point” – ello
· “Metric time claims another victim” – remark
· “Still searching for his 25 minutes of fame…” – C.T. Aiken
· “Time is money, but the dollar is weak” – Mike Britton

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on May 23, 2015
Boys, Girls, Headline Contest Winners, Idiots, On the Bus, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Time, Words

Another Example of Cultural Duffusion

White female Columbia student (singing in the rain): Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams.
Black heavy male stranger: Let it wash away my sanity.

–114th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: 'cause I wanna feel the thunder I wanna scream

Posted on May 22, 2015
Black People, Default, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Sexuality, Singing, Strangers, Students, White People, Words

There’s a Reason for Those Frogs, Unbeliever

Guy #1: I heard someone say Friday evening was so wild, a town on Long Island was hit with a tomato! What’s up with that? A tomato? Is that like when it rains frogs for no reason?
Guy #2: That’s tornado, you dick! Say it with me: tor-na-do!
Guy #1: Oh…okay.

–Penn Station

Posted on May 21, 2015
Idiots, NYC Geography, Penn Station, Stupidity, Weather, Words

It’s Frozen Water That’s Good at Public Speaking

Guy: Bitch, I bet you couldn’t even spell ‘rhetorical.’
Girl: Yes I can! R-H-E-T-O-R-I-C-L-E.
Guy: Are… Are you serious?
Girl: Yeah! Who’s the dumbass now?!

–1 train

Overheard by: pokey

Posted on May 20, 2015
Idiots, On the Subway, Words

Wednesday One-Liners’ Eyes Are Bigger Than Their Stomachs

20-something woman: Is she a bialy in real life?

–Tomo sushi, 110th & Broadway

Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred

Very large black woman on cell phone, bellowing: I don’t do no motherfucking corn bread! Why the fuck you always want corn bread, motherfucker?

–St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital, 114th & Amsterdam

Punk girl to another: I wish I was a muffin. But I’m not. I’m a human.

–B Train

Overheard by: id rather be a cupcake

Black Whole Foods employee to black whole Foods customer: You have to be raised on it, you hear me? I was raised on c-town, key foods. I ain’t gonna pay no 4 dollars for no eggs.

–Union Square Whole Foods

Clueless suit on cell: I’m just really bad at knowing if stuff is perishable or not. I just don’t know. Ok, so ice cream -that’s perishable, right? Butter -non-perishable. Caviar isn’t perishable either… Wait, what? Oh, butter is perishable? Wait, how do you know? Does perishable mean it has to be kept in the fridge? Ok, so does caviar have to be kept in the fridge?

–E 60th St

Angry 20-something on cell phone: Why? Why? Because I can’t eat spaghetti-o’s anymore!

–E 13th St & 1st Ave

Posted on May 19, 2015
9 to 5-ers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Food, Hospitals, Insults, Kosher food, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Punks, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Suits, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Whole Foods, Wishes & desires, Women, Words

What, You Mean Now?

Cashier: Can you spell your name, please?
Man: … Ummm… yes.
Cashier: I meant, can you spell it for me?

–Beacon’s Closet, Park Slope

Overheard by: meyers of keswick

Posted on May 17, 2015
Cashiers, Idiots, Men, Names, Offers and requests, Park Slope, Stupidity, Words

The Real Reason So Many Writers Are Alcoholics

Arrogant freshman: Well, I find the whole drafting process a little counter-redundant.
Writing professor: No, it’s productive.
Arrogant freshman: I tend to disagree. I think it’s counter-redundant.
Writing professor: No, the word! The phrase is ‘counter-productive.’ [Mumbles] Fucking smartass.

–NYU