Chick: Have you ever read Catch 22?
Guy: Was it written by Dr. Seuss?
Chick: No.
Guy: Then no.
–Pace University
Overheard by: Hugh
Chick: Have you ever read Catch 22?
Guy: Was it written by Dr. Seuss?
Chick: No.
Guy: Then no.
–Pace University
Overheard by: Hugh
Guy shopping for condiments: A Rachael Ray olive oil? Really? Have we gone too far?
–Amish market, Park Pl
Overheard by: pri
Blonde to brunette: You don’t understand… I was the Paris Hilton of Seattle…
–Bedford Ave
Overheard by: griffin
Bimbette bragging to server: Yeah, I’m like the Lindsay Lohan of New Jersey!
–Brooklyn Diner, Times Square
Office worker: I would bury Jennifer in a ditch somewhere for Jessica Biel.
–Staten Island
Mom to eight-year-old son: … And that’s why the gays are mad at John Travolta — because he’s a Scientologist.
–Court St & Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Tim
Disappointed lady to hubby: Well, I didn’t see any celebrities in there!
–Outside Olive Garden, Times Square
Theater buff #1: So, do you think Michael Richards is a racist?
Theater buffs #2 and #3: Yes.
Theater buff #4: Nah.
Theater buff #1: Why not?
Theater buff #4: Because he’s a comedian and he yelled it on stage at a heckler. Racists don’t yell ‘nigger’ during a stand-up act in a comedy club. Racists yell ‘nigger’ when they’re driving a pickup truck dragging a chained-up black man behind them. People don’t fucking understand that a comedy improv can go horribly wrong!
–Sardi’s
Overheard by: Big Larry
Doctor: You really think I look like Rick Springfield?
Hobo: Oh, yeah. Could be his twin.
Doctor, singing: Jesse’s girl… I wanna be… [Hobo joins him singing and pees on the bench.]
–Union Square
Overheard by: tantorigor
Little girl: Daddy, who’s John Lennon?
Dad: I’ll explain it to you later.
–Strawberry Fields, Central Park West
Overheard by: David Males
Hobo at end of rant: God bless John Lennon and Marvin Gaye, because John Lennon said, ‘All you need is love,’ and Marvin Gaye said, ‘What’s goin’ on.’
Old lady: Now, that’s a nice thing to remember.
–7 train
Overheard by: Tom
Mom: You’re going to have a great time.
Kid: But is Chicago safe?
Mom: Of course it is! Oprah lives there!
–JFK
Chick #1: Hey, did you hear? Paris Hilton’s going back to jail.
Chick #2: Really? That’s hilarious.
Chick #1: That’s horrible! She’s a decent human being who just needs some rehabilitation!
Chick #2: What the fuck is wrong with you, you dipshit?
–42nd & 5th
Overheard by: Kristen
Old queen #1: I always thought that Dick Cavett was such a little asshole.
Old queen #2: I always found him to be downright delightful!
–Edison Diner, 47th St
Overheard by: I like Dick
Child: Look, Mommy, that lady looks like Daddy’s computer.
Mother: Which one?
Child: The one he has in his office.
–Seaman & Cumming
