Doctor: You really think I look like Rick Springfield?
Hobo: Oh, yeah. Could be his twin.
Doctor, singing: Jesse’s girl… I wanna be… [Hobo joins him singing and pees on the bench.]
–Union Square
Overheard by: tantorigor
Doctor: You really think I look like Rick Springfield?
Hobo: Oh, yeah. Could be his twin.
Doctor, singing: Jesse’s girl… I wanna be… [Hobo joins him singing and pees on the bench.]
–Union Square
Overheard by: tantorigor
Little girl: Daddy, who’s John Lennon?
Dad: I’ll explain it to you later.
–Strawberry Fields, Central Park West
Overheard by: David Males
Hobo at end of rant: God bless John Lennon and Marvin Gaye, because John Lennon said, ‘All you need is love,’ and Marvin Gaye said, ‘What’s goin’ on.’
Old lady: Now, that’s a nice thing to remember.
–7 train
Overheard by: Tom
Mom: You’re going to have a great time.
Kid: But is Chicago safe?
Mom: Of course it is! Oprah lives there!
–JFK
Chick #1: Hey, did you hear? Paris Hilton’s going back to jail.
Chick #2: Really? That’s hilarious.
Chick #1: That’s horrible! She’s a decent human being who just needs some rehabilitation!
Chick #2: What the fuck is wrong with you, you dipshit?
–42nd & 5th
Overheard by: Kristen
Old queen #1: I always thought that Dick Cavett was such a little asshole.
Old queen #2: I always found him to be downright delightful!
–Edison Diner, 47th St
Overheard by: I like Dick
Child: Look, Mommy, that lady looks like Daddy’s computer.
Mother: Which one?
Child: The one he has in his office.
–Seaman & Cumming
Woman #1, looking at Bodog Fight poster: Man, that fight can’t be real, those guys are way too old. That fight is going to suck.
Woman #2: I heard that.
Woman #1: Don’t they have fights between little celebrities?
Woman #2: Uh…
Woman #1: I think I saw Webster, you know, Emmanuel Lewis, fighting that little motherfucker from Diff’rent Strokes. What’s his real name?
Woman #2: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Woman #1: Well, that’s the fight I want to see.
–B train
Dad: Son, I gotta ask — do you think George Lucas has your best interests at heart?
–Central Park West
Overheard by: Shona Riddell
Fat eight-year-old boy with lisp: … And that’s why I’m starting a petition to get Don Imus back on the air.
–Times Square
30-something jumping up and down: Oh my god! Leonardo DiCaprio totally just made eye contact with me!
—The Gardener of Eden premier, Tribeca Film Festival
Overheard by: And omigod, I totally just saw his hair!
Hipster: So, this girl came up to us and asked us if we were art fags. Anyway, long story short, I had sex with her in Richard Gere’s rooftop Zen garden.
–Union Square
Pooper on cell: You like Rosie O’Donnell and listen to Madonna — I know what you are… I really do love my wife, and I love your dick, too, but I hate it when it squirts at me.
–Restroom, Radisson Hotel, 32nd St
Overheard by: j
Girl watching Oscars: Oh my god, I love Scorsese! He’s so cute. I just want to have him in my pocket.
–10th & 5th
Seven-year-old girl on cell: Oh my gosh, Carrie! In Macy’s my mom just bought me the cutest Coach bag and matching scarf!
–34th St
Overheard by: georgia
Teen girl: Dude, whatever… Some bums are really cute!
–10th & 7th, Brooklyn
Overheard by: oliver
Latino goth muscle-man to girl: I know, but, like, spiritually? Emotionally? I have the cutest, pinkest little vagina [makes triangle formation with fingers over crotch]… And it’s tight.
–F train
Overheard by: meg
Dean of Students’ Services to third year student: You’d make a cute pregnant woman.
–Columbia Law School
Girl: I think having a cunt is cute!
–15th & 6th
Overheard by: Oh my
