Hobo: Can you spare any change?
Man: Sorry, no.
Hobo: Who the hell you saying no to? I wasn’t asking you anyway, asshole!
–106th & Broadway
Overheard by: Leonor M.
Hobo: Can you spare any change?
Man: Sorry, no.
Hobo: Who the hell you saying no to? I wasn’t asking you anyway, asshole!
–106th & Broadway
Overheard by: Leonor M.
Girl #1: Well, this is cozy.
Guy #1 from the back: Let’s get to know a little about each other. Hi, my name’s Aaron*. I’m a Pisces, non-smoker, but a heavy drinker.
Girl #2: Hi, I’m Becca. I’m a Taurus, and I really like Chinese food.
Guy #2: This is the best elevator ever.
Girl #3 as door opens: Get the fuck off of me.
–Track 3 elevator, Penn Station
Girl on cell, defiantly: Listen, I can keep my midget in your closet whenever I damn please!
–72nd & Columbus
Man handing out cards to random passers-by: They have midget strippers, buddy, and you can bring your guitar!
–42nd & 7th
Overheard by: Katy
Guy, to friend: You can't call yourself a grown man if you sit down and your feet dangle off the chair.
–Victoria's Secret
Overheard by: Emm
Black guy pushing cart: Man, I miss my two-headed midget friend… He was my best man.
–Union Square
Woman on cell: Have I been an angry little munchkin?
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: TheMac
Hobo #1: What are you doing here begging for something to drink? You come on, get out of there.
Hobo #2: Shut up, you transie.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: teresa barber
Little boy: Daddy, why did you yell at that man?
Dad: Because he’s an asshole! … Like your brother!
–Penn Station
Angry Guy: Fuck New England. Fuck people from Boston. Fuck Pats’ fans, fuck Red Sox fans, fuck Ben Affleck, fuck Denis Leary, fuck Harvard, fuck MIT, fuck Aerosmith, fuck the Pixies, fuck David Foster Wallace, fuck Boston Cream pie and clam chowder and Sam Adams, fuck Dr. Spock, fuck pahking your cah in Hahvahd Yahd, fuck Sacco and Vanzetti, fuck Paul Revere, fuck ’em all.
–Borough Park
(dad playing with little kids on slide, son screams)
Mom: Just a minute, honey, daddy is too busy playing with other people's children.
Dad (coming over to son): And mommy is too busy being passive aggressive.
–Central Park Playground
Overheard by: Amused Babysitter
Hobo: Sir, can I trouble you for a cigarette?
Suit #1: Yeah no problem, man.
Hobo: Have a light, too?
Suit #1: Sure.
Hobo: Thanks, man… get the FUCK outta my face!
Suit #2: Only in NYC, man…
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Rob
Angry suit: I hate Christmas music, man! You use it for three weeks, and then what do you do?
Sympathetic suit: Yeah, it's useless.
–Pizza Spot
Overheard by: Raven
Guy on cell: Hey, what’s up?…I’m at the Met game…The Mets are up 2 to 1, but Washington has 2 men on and nobody out…Two-one. No outs.
Guy #2: There’s one out.
Guy on cell: Oh, sorry. One out. We’ve been here since 8 and I’ve been drinking since 8:30. I’m wasted…Listen, Ma, I gotta go, I’m missing the game.
He hangs up.
Guy #1: My mother calls to get the score. Turn on the radio!
–Shea Stadium
Dude: Hey, Carlos! Steal second, I won’t tell anybody!
–Shea Stadium
Dude: Get off your knees; you’re blowing the game!
–Shea Stadium
