Hispanic woman #1: … And he was all, ‘You’re not sick, it’s your diet.’
Hispanic woman #2: But you’re not on a diet.
Hispanic woman #1: No, no, he meant what I eat makes me sick. Then I told him when I’m sick I take NyQuil, and he said I can’t do that.
Hispanic woman #2: Why not?
Hispanic woman #1: Girl, he’s a Holocaust.
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Lepidus
Girl looking at GRE study guide: I’m not very smart. I took a practice test the other day and didn’t do good.
Friend: ‘Well.’ You didn’t do well.
Girl: No, it’s ‘good.’ A person is ‘well’ — like, ‘I’m doing well,’ but a person can’t do something well, they do it good.
Friend: You’re wrong.
Girl: No, that’s how it is.
–Barnes & Noble, 5th Ave
Guy: I’ve been finding myself becoming more and more of a misanthropist.
Bimbette: I tried that once, but the chains were a bit much.
Guy: [Angry glare.]
–BBQ, 8th & University Pl
Tall blonde: Didn’t you say you were getting an ice cream cake? I’m so confused.
Short blonde: There was no time for both, so that’ll have to be another break a little later.
Tall blonde: Ah, okay. I just was worried about it sitting in Accounting, so I went to get it and they had no idea what I was talking about.
Short blonde: Oh, no, no. Plus, I couldn’t carry all three. The good news — Mylar won’t melt.
–25th & Broadway
Overheard by: prciosasoy
Chick #1 watching Swedish guy on screen: What fucking language is that?
Chick #2: Duh… Irish. Wait… Don’t they speak, like, English?
–Movie theater, Cobble Hill
Overheard by: angel
Girl #1: Oh my god, I just thought of something so cool!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Women are like magicians!
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: They pull bunnies out of hats, and we can pull babies out of our vaginas!
Girl #2: Wow, you’re so smart!
Girl #1: I know, right?
–Apple Store
Chick #1: It’s so sad that California is going to become an island.
Chick #2: I don’t know how to swim.
–A train
Blonde: We need to cover loads of ground if we want an agent to poach us.
Friend: Why can’t we just go pay for one?
Blonde: They totally just walk the streets looking for hot people and pay them to become models.
Friend: And what are the odds we are gonna just run into one?
Blonde: Trust me, they’re everywhere. They drive around in vans looking for people to audition.
Friend: Please tell me you haven’t been picked up by one of these ‘agents’ before!
–Brooklyn Heights Promenade
Guy: So, for New Year’s…
Bimbette: Yeah, well, I don’t want to do any of that Times Square stuff — it’s really scary there. All those terrorists…
–Joe’s Shanghai, Chinatown
Overheard by: soup dumpling
Guy on cell: No, no, no! He said they came to search him and he swallowed it.
–Sullivan & Bleecker
Teen girl at human limbs exhibit: Hmmm, I’m hungry.
–Bodies Exhibit, South St Seaport
Frat boy on cell: I miss you, baby. I love ya. I want to taste your saliva. Call me later when you’re drunk.
–University Pl & 14th St
Overheard by: Erin
Bimbette lighting a cigarette: This probably isn’t what I should be having for breakfast.
–14th St & 1st Ave
Man on cell: Have you talked about coating her in peanut butter and jelly and eating her like a sandwich? No? Okay.
–Starbucks, Court St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: MmmSandwich
Mom: Who’s the yummiest baby in the world? Is it you? Are you super-duper yummy?
–115th St & Broadway
