Old black lady: Bus driver, you a dumb motherfucker! You just turned down the wrong street!
Man: Don’t worry, Mr. Bus Driver, I still have faith in you.
Old black lady, to man: Get your faggot-ass off the bus!
–8 bus, Bronx
Old black lady: Bus driver, you a dumb motherfucker! You just turned down the wrong street!
Man: Don’t worry, Mr. Bus Driver, I still have faith in you.
Old black lady, to man: Get your faggot-ass off the bus!
–8 bus, Bronx
Big black lady: Oh, honey! What’s wrong, baby?
Weeping white girl: Oh… It’s nothing. I’ll be okay.
Big black lady: Boy problems?
Weeping white girl: … Yeah.
Big black lady: What did he do to you, dear? Did he… Did he beat you?
Weeping white girl, trying not to laugh: No! No, it was nothing like–
Big black lady: –Did he sleep with another woman?
Weeping white girl: No, he–
Big black lady: –Because if he did he’ll get an STD and die, don’t you worry.
–115th & Broadway
Black MTA employee guy: My brother is the conductor on this train.
Hispanic MTA employee woman: Is that right? What's his name?
Black MTA employee guy: I don't know.
Hispanic MTA employee woman: You don't know his name? And he's your brother?
Black MTA employee guy: He's a brother from another mother. You know, kinda light-skinned, with freckles.
Hispanic MTA employee woman: Oh, I know that guy. He hangs out with what's-his-name.
Black MTA employee guy: Yeah, right.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Stephanie Luke
Overweight Asian lady: Excuse me, miss, I'm holding the pole, do you mind?
Black lady: I'm sorry, but there's nowhere I can move to.
Asian lady: Well, can you just please not lean on it? You're squashing my hand.
Black lady (looking at Asian lady in amazement at her audacity): What time is it?
Asian lady: I could tell you, if you would stop leaning on my hand.
Black lady: It's rush hour! If you're not ready for this go back to suburbia, bitch! This is what happens on an overcrowded train in New York City. Look at this bitch next to me, she barely fits in the door, and she's not complaining. You know why? Cause she accepts it. Cause it's a fact of life! And you takin' up the whole middle isle…shame on you…lose some weight…go back to suburbia. There's plenty of room there.
–L Train
Overheard by: that's right, rush hour is tight
Black hipster girl being given directions: Huh? Crosswalk? What is a “crosswalk”?
Shop girl: Honey, I'm from Ohio and I know what a crosswalk is!
–Vintage Store, West Broadway
Overheard by: Murray
Black woman #1: I think Tony could be your sugar daddy.
Black woman #2: Ummm, no.
Black woman #1: Why not?
Black woman #2: No, I don’t think so.
Black woman #1: Why? You guys get along so well.
Black woman #2: Because I think he has a sugar daddy.
–Office building, Midtown
Black teenage girl on cell: I don’t care if he is a skinny white dude. I’m telling you right now, as long as I don’t have my period I’m gonna screw that cracker.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Cool black guy: I loooooves me some women. Ha, that's why I can't ever be gay, you know? (under breath) I loves me some women…
Young boy with him: I think a gay guy would say the same thing about men.
–E 14th St & 1st Ave
Old black lady: Oh lord, Satan’s children are walking the streets
Goth kid: Shut the fuck up, Rosa Parks. Go sit in the back of the fucking bus!
–M86 bus
Overheard by: Metal Martyr
Girl on cell, defiantly: Listen, I can keep my midget in your closet whenever I damn please!
–72nd & Columbus
Man handing out cards to random passers-by: They have midget strippers, buddy, and you can bring your guitar!
–42nd & 7th
Overheard by: Katy
Guy, to friend: You can't call yourself a grown man if you sit down and your feet dangle off the chair.
–Victoria's Secret
Overheard by: Emm
Black guy pushing cart: Man, I miss my two-headed midget friend… He was my best man.
–Union Square
Woman on cell: Have I been an angry little munchkin?
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: TheMac
