Men’s Intuition, I Suppose

Teenage boy: I just realized I have not gotten laid, thus far in life.
Girl: When’d you come up with that?

–E 18th St & Ave J

Posted on April 16, 2015
Boys, Default, Girls, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions, Stupidity, Teens, Virginity

Isn’t There a Talking Donkey in the Hebrew Bible?

Teen boy: Is that a Jewish thing?
Man: No, it’s from Shrek.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Confabulation Nation

Posted on April 11, 2015
Boys, Compare/Contrast, Default, Judaism, Men, Movies, Questions, Teens, Union Square and East Village

Where There's Smoke, There's Wednesday One-Liner

Guy at ATM to friend: The $60 fast cash button should just be labeled "8th of weed."

–Chase Bank, Astor Place

Probation officer to juvenile: You think you can't get arrested for marijuana? Are you out of your damn mind? You're taking a drug test right now, you out-of-your-damn-mind son!

–Bronx Family Court

Overheard by: Adog

Guy to girlfriend: The more stoned I get, the better you sound.

–72nd St & Broadway

Guy: So then I smoked a goodnight bowl at Chris's.

–E 10th St

Overheard by: What about a good morning bowl?

20-something to friend: I'll save the world second, but I'll get high first.

–Houston & Essex

Posted on April 11, 2015
Boyfriends, Boys, Brooklyn, Cops, Drugs, Friends, The Bronx, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weed

And a Nazi Wouldn’t Hail a Cab Of Color

Little tourist boy: Mommy! Look, that lady is a Nazi!
Frazzled tourist mom: What? Oh… Honey, that nice lady is hailing a cab, not Hitler.

–Bowery

Posted on April 7, 2015
Boys, Cars and Driving, Hitler/Nazis, Kids, Parents, Tourists, Union Square and East Village

Have You Ever Tried Crossing Murdoch?

Boy #1: Yo, I’m telling you son, it was on the news, it was even in the paper!
Boy #2: Pssh, what paper?
Boy #1: The Post.
Boy #2: Yo, The Post is mad gay…Daily News is gangsta.

–Sutter Avenue station

Overheard by: Deshaunicus

Posted on April 5, 2015
Boys, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Thugs

The Rusted ’87, or the Stolen ’92?

Thuggish 11-year-old #1, looking at in-flight magazine: That car is sweet.
Thuggish 11-year-old #2: Oh, it’s okay. I’m a BMW man myself.

–AirTran flight out of LaGuardia

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Posted on April 4, 2015
At the Airport, Boys, Cars and Driving, Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Kids, Thugs

Development of the Vitamin-Enhanced Pussy Hits a Snag

Girl: No! I will not put your Propel bottle in my vag!
Boy: Come on, I’m sure it’ll fit!
Girl: No! I will not! Do you want vag juices all up in your Propel bottle?!
(boy walks away)
Girl (to self): I didn’t think so.

–Upper West Side

Overheard by: Sophie

Posted on March 30, 2015
Boys, Default, Girls, Offers and requests, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vagina, Weirdness

And No Way You’re Getting My Kickball in the Settlement

Nanny to boy blocking slide: Hi, are you going down the slide?
(kid shakes head)
Nanny: Well, can we get past you?
(kid shakes head)
Three-year-old friend: Sam, share.
(Sam shakes head)
Three-year-old friend: Sam, share or I will leave you.

–69th & West End