Thug: Hey, Ma, you are one fine piece of ass. What do you like in a man?
Chick: I’ll tell you what I don’t like: fat mothafuckas calling me ‘Ma.’
–23rd & Lex
Overheard by: Renee
Thug: Hey, Ma, you are one fine piece of ass. What do you like in a man?
Chick: I’ll tell you what I don’t like: fat mothafuckas calling me ‘Ma.’
–23rd & Lex
Overheard by: Renee
Thug #1: Yeah, me too. I get so much pussy… Sometimes I’m too tired to even fuck ’em all.
Thug #2: Nigga, you gay.
–M4 bus stop, 110th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: High LiferforLife
Club promoter: Comedy tonight at the Improv!
Middle-aged woman: The real comedy is on the streets.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Kevin Motel
Little boy: Look, Mommy, that man is dressed up as the UPS man for Halloween!
UPS man: No, this is my life.
–Rockefeller Center Concourse
Overheard by: Micaela
Pharmacist: Do you have any allergies?
Woman: No, I’m not allergic to anything. Except maybe no good men. Yeah, write that down, I’m allergic to no good men!
–Duane Reade, 100 William St
Overheard by: shemah
Hobo: I’m tired of your bullshit.
Girl: Me, too.
–E 14th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Angie
Mom: Why don’t you go and help your uncle fix the car?
Young girl: Excuse me… I’m not a screwdriver and I’m not a mechanic.
–Astoria
Lady: Excuse me, do you know how to get to the Holliswood Hospital?
Teen: Holliswood Mental Hospital?
Lady: Yes, the Holliswood Psychiatric Hospital.
Teen: Yeah, like I said, the mental hospital.
Lady: Psychiatric.
Teen: Mental.
–Union Turnpike & 188th
Overheard by: Zeve
Woman #1: Why don’t you get a child of your own?
Woman #2: Girl, I already gots a car.
–Century 21, Cortlandt St
Guy #1: Don’t you hate when you are sitting on a toilet and need to spit, so you try to aim your spit in between your legs into the water, but you miss and get it all over your dick?
Guy #2: No, I never miss.
–G train
