Small group of tourist kids singing loudly: I believe I can fly… I believe I can touch the sky…
Mom: That’s what you think!
–74th & Broadway
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Small group of tourist kids singing loudly: I believe I can fly… I believe I can touch the sky…
Mom: That’s what you think!
–74th & Broadway
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Brooklyn guy #1: Let me tell you something…
Brooklyn guy #2: No, don’t even bother.
–B100 bus, Marine Park
Overheard by: vaughn
Actor #1: It wasn’t like sex vagina, it was more like–
Actor #2: –There’s more than one kind?
–Epiphany
Dude #1: Do you think retards know they’re retarded?
Dude #2: Yeah. I’m sure they’re all like, ‘This sucks. I’m retarded.’
–East Village
Homeless man: You need to pray to Jesus everyday. Do you thank Jesus for your food or your family or the newspaper? The devil is killing you through newspapers and the media. Are you thankful to Jesus? He loves you if you talk to him everyday.
Queer: I would be thankful to Jesus if you would stop shouting in my ear so I can listen to Beyonce’s newest album.
–N train
Overheard by: Brina Guild
Headline by: kempadimes
Runners-Up:
· “Is my Savior too bootylicious?” – Mdaneman
· “Jesulicious” – Mark Schilsky
· “Jesus loves me, this I know. A fucking hobo tells me so.” – Extra Character
· “Jesus saves souls, not careers” – Megan
· “Some messiahs are so high-maintenance” – N. A. Cargo
Black girl: My daddy says I can’t fight her because she’s pregnant.
Wigger chick: Her face ain’t pregnant, is it?
–Subway bathroom, 4th & 6th
Man: I’m tellin’ you, a perm makes you look good.
Woman: Goddammit, Pee Wee! No it don’t! You think you know every mothafuckin’ thing!
–Fulton & Putnam, Brooklyn
Overheard by: mira p
Hipster guy: Yeah, my dad’s a bird-petter.
Hipster girl: How much does he make for that?
Hipster guy: About three friends a year.
–R/W platform, 8th St
Overheard by: the imbiber
Tweaker mom: Can I get my butter, please? I paid for my butter, and I’m taking my butter. I paid for it, I tipped for it, and I’m taking it [gets butter, then starts yanking child out the door].
Young daughter: Mommy, you don’t even like butter.
–Sunny & Annie Deli, 6th St & Ave B
Chick #1 grabbing a pole on crowded subway: Ew! This pole is wet!
Chick #2: Huh?
Male stranger: Yeah, I just finished licking it.
–N train
Overheard by: Pamela
