Dude #1: Yo son, that girl last week, Anna, she is all kinds of freaky.
Dude #2: Weird, that’s what I heard.
Dude #1: Yeah man, she wanted me to do her from behind with the lights on and shit.
Dude #2: Nigga, that shit ain’t freaky.
Dude #1: Yo, with the lights on and a dildo in her mouth.
Dude #2: Wait… Which Anna you talking ’bout, my cousin?
–A Train
Overheard by: nuttybella
Woman #1: I don’t get it. I mean, if you can fuck, you can cook.
Woman #2: Totally.
–SoHo
Overheard by: nooners
Middle-aged guidette: He’s gay, he’s gay, he’s gay!
Uptight white woman: My husband isn’t gay. Loving Jesus doesn’t make you gay.
–Port Authority
Girl #1: You’re a doctor?
Girl #2: Yeah–you didn’t know that?
Girl #1: Well, I only know you on a wrestling level.
Girl #3: Wow, that is *so* New York.
–Rooftop party, Bedford St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Gnomies
Hot Asian chick to boyfriend, about former boyfriend: He actually told me he liked fucking me because of my “almond eyes.”
Boyfriend: Where do you find these guys?
Hot Asian chick: I know, right?
Boyfriend: I like fucking you because you come at least once a minute.
Hot Asian chick: Take me home now!
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: …can i borrow her
Young woman #1: Oh, so that guy I slept with the other week? He’s my friend on Facebook now. Did you see him?
Young woman #2: Is he the bald guy?
Young woman #1: No, he has dark hair. His profile picture is him kissing his wife at their wedding.
Young woman #2: He’s married?
Young woman #1: Yeah, I guess so.
–Starbucks, 19th & 8th
Overheard by: My husband is not on Facebook.
Queer #1: But what if we got all the men in the school to jack off? Do you think it could fill the pool?
Queer #2: I don’t think so.
Queer #1: Really? We’re talkin every guy at school.
Queer #2: Well… maybe a kiddie pool. And even then it would probably only be a thin film.
Queer #1: What if they saved up their cum in jars for a week, and then dumped it in?
Queer #2: I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.
–Public Theater
Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy
Woman: I’d like a latte with percent milk.
Barista: Percent? You mean “two percent”?
Woman: No, just regular percent milk.
Barista: (…)
Woman, condescendingly: There’s whole milk, and there’s skim milk, and then in-between, there’s percent milk. Got it?
Barista: You’re gettin two percent. I hope that works for you.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Carol
Mid 40s black man: Well, how will you know where to find her?
Quasi-homeless black man: She got big drawers?
Mid 40s black man: Well, yeah.
Quasi-homeless black man: She got big drawers, I’ll find her!
–123rd & Adam Clayton Powell
Overheard by: he’s asked to see my drawers before
Dude #1: It’d be like you saying: “I’m gonna root for the Raiders, instead of the Chargers.”
Dude #2: It’d be like you saying: “I’m gonna suck cock!”
–11th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Hannah
