Dude: Is this a petting zoo sort of thing?
Chick: No. It’s a dog park sort of thing.
–Union Square dog park
Overheard by: tanechka
Dude: Is this a petting zoo sort of thing?
Chick: No. It’s a dog park sort of thing.
–Union Square dog park
Overheard by: tanechka
Female tutor: Okay, so do you want a soy hot chocolate?
12-year-old student: No, that tastes funny.
Female tutor: So you want cow milk, eh? How would you feel if you were hooked up to a machine all day giving milk?
(student is silent)
Female tutor: You know it's breast milk right?
Student: Yeah.
Female tutor: Moooooo moooooo. (makes suckling noise.) Moooo moooo! (Makes suckling noise)
–Hopscotch
Overheard by: bildita
Guy: So, Rob slept with that trailer trash chick last night.
Girl: Holy shit! Which one?
Guy: The meth-head-looking one. You don’t think she looks like total trailer trash?
Girl: Oh my god, she had trailer trash oozing out of her fucking pores!
Guy: So why were you talking to her half the night?
Girl: Whatever. She was really nice.
–Terrace table, Blue Water Grill, Union Square
Overheard by: ebizzle
NYU boy: Hey, Adam Duritz from Counting Crows is outside Hayden on his cell phone!
NYU girl: Uh, well.. I almost got killed by a fucking snow globe!
–Washington Square West
Russki #1: You can have my girlfriend.
Russki #2: I don’t want your girlfriend, she has AIDS.
Russki #1: Use a condom.
–Staten Island
Overheard by: R
Guy with Mohawk drinking a beer: That guy over there is half Asian and half black.
Friend in skinny jeans: That's so postmodern!
–The Cock, 2nd & 2nd
Overheard by: Trevor From Seattle
Student #1: She’s from the Dominican Republic, right?
Student #2: Um, yeah, I think so.
Student #1: Is she classy…?
Student #2: Eh, not really, no. At the meeting the other day, she was wearing a skirt. I could see her cooch.
Student #3: [Just joining the conversation] What’s a cooch?
[Silence.]Student #1: Her vagina.
Student #2: Her forest. Except it was barren. There were no trees. Barren.
–Columbia University
Australian tourist: Excuse me, mate, do you know where Hooters is?
Guy: Yeah, go up to 56th, take a left. It’s between 7th and Broadway on the right.
Australian tourist: Thanks mate!
Guy to friend: Hey, I just got taken for a straight New Yorker.
–54th St & Madison
Overheard by: The other gay Bostonian
Hobo: Can you spare some change? Or food?
Black lady: Nigga, get a job. This neighborhood's gone too bourgeois for your ass to be begging.
–West 4th
Overheard by: bella
Man in paper hat, leather jacket covered in soda can tabs, and poofy skirt over jeans: She comes in and she comes home and breaks my heart, and the worst part is that I don’t understand her language. I’m better off with… [Steps back to peer at magazine a girl is reading] I’m better off with that one. What’s her name? Turn the page back one. Yeah, her. Tyra? Tyra. I’m better off with Tyra.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl
