Young guy, trying to allow older woman to get in line first: Ladies first.
Old woman: I'm not a lady.
Young guy: Oh.
–Office, 54th & 6th
Overheard by: Biscuit-lover
Young guy, trying to allow older woman to get in line first: Ladies first.
Old woman: I'm not a lady.
Young guy: Oh.
–Office, 54th & 6th
Overheard by: Biscuit-lover
Girl: No! I will not put your Propel bottle in my vag!
Boy: Come on, I’m sure it’ll fit!
Girl: No! I will not! Do you want vag juices all up in your Propel bottle?!
(boy walks away)
Girl (to self): I didn’t think so.
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: Sophie
Tall guy: Maybe I should just move to his pad…
Short guy: You can’t live with him, you’ll never get any work done with all the strippers and piles of coke everywhere. He lives too large for me.
Tall guy: [long pause] Yeeeaaah!
–PATH
Overheard by: green eyed evesdropper
Man: Look, there’s the arch!
Woman: Oh, I didn’t think this place was real!
–Washington Square Park
Queer #1: Somebody should give him some gum. His breath smells really bad.
Queer #2: I know! I see why everybody calls him “shit-breath”.
Girl: You guys, he’s already chewing gum.
Queer #1: Ewwww.
–NYU Classroom
Overheard by: Paul
Nanny to boy blocking slide: Hi, are you going down the slide?
(kid shakes head)
Nanny: Well, can we get past you?
(kid shakes head)
Three-year-old friend: Sam, share.
(Sam shakes head)
Three-year-old friend: Sam, share or I will leave you.
–69th & West End
Metrosexual guy: If I was some fish…
Girl, not looking up from her bus schedule: Grammar just cried.
Metrosexual guy: I don’t follow you.
Girl: Good, because if you did, I would have to have you arrested.
Metrosexual guy: I am so confused.
Girl: Do the words ‘you are an idiot’ confuse you?
Metrosexual guy: I hate you.
–28th & 5th
Girl #1: You guys only dated a month, you can't really call that a relationship.
Girl #2: Well, I wanted to marry him.
Girl #1: I hate when that happens.
–St. Mark's & 3rd Ave
Asian guy #1: Hey, would you date a female version of yourself?
Asian guy #2: No way bro, I don’t date white bitches.
–Columbia University
Bimbette: Well, the human brain weighs 3 lbs.
Friend: So?
Bimbette: So, I'm not really 110. I'm really 107. If you don't count my brain.
–A Train
