Directions

Four-year-old Asian boy: Is this train going to Jamaica Center? The same as e train?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: So they need to watch out for guns?

–F Train

Jersey tourist: It's so confusing that on the train first goes Newark Penn Station followed by New York Penn Station.
New Yorker: It's to weed out the weak.

–Mulberry Street

Meter maid cop: Excuse me, can you tell me what street this is?
Woman: It’s 25th… Aren’t you supposed to know?!
Meter maid cop: Yeah, but sometimes we get lost.

–25th & 9th Ave

Overheard by: nina bina

Girl #1: She said to meet her in front of some type of iron building.
Girl #2: What’s that?
Girl #1: I don’t know. Some building made out of iron. What’s that building made out of?

–23rd & Broadway

Tourist on shuttle headed towards Grand Central: I'm sorry, how do I get to Times Square?
Guy: Take this train two stops.

–Times Square

Man: This is 57th and behind us is Madison and that’s Park Avenue ahead, so 56th Street is to the right.
Matthew Perry: So it’s set up like a grid?

–57th between Park & Madison

Overheard by: joseph Caruso

Train conductor: This is Atlantic Avenue. If you don't want to be left in the city get off now, if you are going to the city, buckle up… wooo hoooo!
Ghetto woman: This nigga lost his mind.
Ghetto child: Just like daddy?
Suit: Fucking morons! (walks off train)

–Q Train

Overheard by: Got Off On Atlantic

Conductor over loud speaker: In case you didn’t stop to look at what train this is, listen up, because I’m telling you now. This is the C Train. This train will be running express from here to Canal Street. I repeat: This train is running express from here to Canal Street. If you need to get to a local stop in between, you must go to 14th Street and take the C uptown. Uptown trains are stopping at all stations. Next stop: 42nd Street.
Teen girl, as train approaches 42nd: Excuse me, is this train stopping at 23rd Street?
Conductor: You didn’t listen to the announcement at all, did you?
Teen girl: No.
Conductor: Then I’m not telling.

–C train, Columbus Circle

Overheard by: i love a tube with tude

Train conductor: This is Dyckman Street.
Rotten little teenager (somehow getting on loudspeaker): Dyckman Street, yo! Suck my motherfuckin' dick!
(passengers all bewildered)
Train conductor, on next stop: This is 207th Street. Sorry, that was some kid in the back of the train, not me.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Kyle Crocodile

Blonde tourist: Excuse me, officer. Can you tell me where the nearest liquor store is?
Cop: Hmmm. Don’t know. If you asked me where the nearest doughnut shop is, that would make more sense.
Blonde tourist: Um, can I get a picture with you?

–44th & 8th