Fordham freshman girl to others: So how far is it from Fordham road to Bloomingdale's?
Black passer-by: Vanilla, vanilla, vanilla! I love white girls!
Fordham freshman girl: Let's take a cab.
–Fordham Road
Fordham freshman girl to others: So how far is it from Fordham road to Bloomingdale's?
Black passer-by: Vanilla, vanilla, vanilla! I love white girls!
Fordham freshman girl: Let's take a cab.
–Fordham Road
Excited bus driver: Next stop, 6th Avenue! Herald Square! Vicky's secret! Something for everyone! Get off!! Get off!
–M16 Bus
Overheard by: nora!
Bus driver: Everyone who is exceedingly good-looking move to the back of the bus!
(people giggle but still not much room in front)
Bus driver: Well, it's good to know you're a modest bunch, but you gotta move back or I'm not moving this bus.
–Bus, Central Park West
Overheard by: passenger
Bus driver over sound system: Dis bus is out of service! Dis bus is out of service! People in da back get up, close the fucken back window, and leave!
–Bx9 Bus
Bus driver over intercom: Good morning, this is a friendly reminder that the holiday shopping season now begins the day after Halloween. Make sure to allot six hours extra travel time as the city gets rather hectic at this time.
–M23 Bus
Bus driver over intercom: Come on, move back, people. There's coffee and jelly donuts in the back of the bus.
–Crosstown Bus, 57th St
Overheard by: Flexy
Bus driver (calmly): Move to the back of the bus. I heard there is mad room in the back of the bus. Mad room. I got an e-mail up here that says there is mad room in the back. Can someone quantify how much is "mad" for me? Mad room in the back of the bus. Mad room. Mad room!
–Crowded Q 55 Bus
Overheard by: Matt
Bus driver: This is the Q44 express going to Jamaica. We are traveling along Main Street, next stop is 41st Avenue. For those of you that don't speak English: blah, blah, blah, blah…
–Bus, Flushing
Guy #1: Is this Broadway and Houston?
Guy #2: Yes. I think we're in SoHo.
Guy #3: No, this is just Ho.
–Broadway & Houston
Overheard by: NewYorkerNick
Little girl: But Daddy! I thought the store was the other way.
Dad: Well, that’s why you’re not leading this little expedition, now isn’t it?
–Park & 26th
Tourist: Could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
NYer: No, but I could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant.
–23th & 5th
Creepy guy, with buddy: Hey, do you girls live here?
Girl: Yes.
Creepy guy: Do you know where the main street is with all the little streets coming off it?
Girl: Uh…
Creepy guy: Do you know where we can get some coke?
Girl: Oh, go that way.
–11th & 3rd
Overheard by: Otto
Tourist, tapping man on shoulder: Excuse me sir, would you mind pointing me to the Empire State Building, please?
Man, pointing at the sky: See that building? The shiny big one, with all the pretty lights? Walk straight towards it.
Tourist: Thank you, my good man!
–Downing St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Emma
Big black guy #1: Yo, does anybody know where we get off to go uptown?
White passenger: The next stop.
Big back guy #1: Yo, everyone shut up and listen to the white nigga! He’s givin’ us directions!
Big black guy #2: Ain’t no such thing as a white nigga, fool!
–F Train
American girl: Yeah, the subway runs express out of Astoria and local into Astoria. It wouldn’t make sense any other way. See all the people on the train?
German guy: Why would it only run express one way?
American girl: You’re not from here, I don’t expect you to understand.
–N train
Southern tourist woman to waitress: You don't take credit cards? Where are we?
Drunk New Yorker at other table: You're at JG Melon!
(table cheers)
–74th & 3rd