Drama Major: If I have to hear one more thing about Ancient Greek or Roman Drama.
Drama Minor: Oh, I know.
Drama Major: I have Oedipus coming out of my ass!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Douche
Drama Major: If I have to hear one more thing about Ancient Greek or Roman Drama.
Drama Minor: Oh, I know.
Drama Major: I have Oedipus coming out of my ass!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Douche
Guy: Just look! Look behind us! There’s nobody! I just bought coke. Look, just give me 20 back and I’ll leave you alone all night. I swear. I don’t go to F.I.T. I go to West Point.
–8th Ave & 25th St
Teen girl: That is not correct use of that word.
Teen Boy: Yes it is!
Teen Girl: You don’t emit a noxious odor when you ‘bifurcate’!
–68th and 3rd
Restaurant patron: Wait, you are telling me you never wake up in the middle of the night and think you’re still in jail?
–Mottsu Soho
Overheard by: J
Guy on cell: I’ll be there in a few hours. No! Just wait! I mean can you please just not sleep all day again for three seconds?
–Canal St
Hobo: Sorry to disturb y’all! If you look at me closely, you will see some red marks. I was sleeping on the ground for a couple of days and I did not know that if you smell like food, those big rats will bite you.
–B Train
Overheard by: Jamie Paquette
Guy on cell: Hi. I’m just calling to say . . . ummm . . . I feel really bad about how things are going, how things have been. I don’t know if you got any sleep last night. I know I didn’t. But I guess I turned it to my best advantage, because I just gave the most amazing lecture. I talked for two and a half hours! So I guess I’m not totally useless to everyone.
–Chelsea Station Post Office
Anorexic dancer: Yeah, but I can’t wake up without toilet paper.
Friend: …..
Anorexic dancer: It makes sense to me.
–Meredith Wilson Residence Hall, Juilliard School
Overheard by: cherry
Patron to bartender: I mean, I sleep till 3 p.m., but that’s because I drink and do coke all the time. . . . I guess they do too!
–Barracuda
Rhodes Scholar wigger: Yeah, we ain’t together no more. Bitch had the nerve to dump me.
Friend: What happened? You guys looked fine last week. It doesn’t make sense.
Rhodes Scholar wigger: She wasn’t down with how I roll. Always dissin’ the way I talk and shit–you know, correcting me and shit. Said she couldn’t take it no more, that I was always actin’ ign-i-ant or some shit. Like she’s some brain scientist or some shit. Bitch was always wrong anyways.
Friend: Brain surgeon.
Rhodes Scholar wigger: What?
Friend: You said brain scientist. I think you meant brain surgeon.
Rhodes Scholar wigger: Dat’s what I said nigga, you just heard me wrong.
Friend: You know what, suddenly it does makes sense.
–Manhattan bound F train
Overheard by: SandmanEsq
College girl: Excuse me… excuse me… who is Darfur?
Guy: Are you kidding me? You need to get educated… you haven’t heard of the genocide there?
College girl: Pshhh… we pay people to gather information. Why do I need to know it?
–4/5/6 platform, 96th St
Overheard by: Sheena Tahilramani
Hipster girl: So, like, what do you do in your media classes? Like, what do the professors expect?
Hipster dude: Well, they just want you to care.
–Balcony, Hunter College
Overheard by: the person who doesn’t care either
Teen girl: Is the universe, like, the whole world or just the United States?
Guy: Dude, it’s, like, everything in existence.
Ghetto guy: Nuh-uh! It’s just like a group. Our universe is the Milky Way.
Guy: You’re an idiot. It includes the Milky Way, but that’s not what it is.
Ghetto guy: I went to four years of high school. I think I would know.
–M96 bus
Overheard by: Treesha
Snob #1: This is exactly what kids in school should see.
Snob #2: Especially in the Midwest, where they don’t read.
–Delacorte Theater, Central Park
Overheard by: Literate Midwesterner
Teacher #1: So I decided what my big job switch will be in a couple of years.
Teacher #2: What?
Teacher #1: I’m going to be a party planner. Or, someone on the set of a TV show.
Teacher #2: Huh?
Teacher #1: Well, I was watching Rachael Ray the other day, and the camera pulled back, and there was this girl with a headset.
Teacher #2: Yeah?
Teacher #1: And that’s what I want to do. I mean, teaching’s nice, but you don’t really get to interact with anybody, right? It’s just us. And the kids.
Teacher #2: Right.
Teacher #1: Oh, God, when will this train get there? I want to start drinking!
–Uptown 1 train
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
