Teen girl #1: Soup is my downfall.
Teen girl #2, yelling loudly: Human nature, human nature, soup!
–Columbia
Overheard by: Melissa
Young daughter: I want an eight-inch one.
Mom: No, honey, eight inches is too long for you.
Young daughter: But I really want it.
Mom: No, you’ll just get the five inches, and it will be good.
–Quizno’s, 5th Ave
Chick #1: Did you eat anything tonight?
Chick #2: No. I haven’t been eating much lately, but not in the unhealthy way.
–Bowery & Spring
Boss guy: I’ll meet you at Seebo at 5:30.
Design guy: Um…I think it’s pronounced “Chee-bo.” C-I-B-O. It’s Italian.
Boss guy: What do I know? I’m a Viking.
–Office, Hanover Square
Overheard by: R.S.
Man: What’s that you’re putting on your cheesecake?
Woman: My cholesterol medication.
Man: Um… I don’t think that’s how it works.
–Carnegie Deli
Overheard by: Julie
PA system: Leia, please meet your party at the front. Leia, not the princess, please meet your party at the front.
–Bed, Bath & Beyond, 18th & 6th
Overheard by: Rebecca
Announcer over loudspeaker: The time is now one am o'clock!
–Baggage Claim, JFK
Overheard by: Kimmie
Loudspeaker announcement: Attention, all late night shoppers, this is a live announcement. I repeat, this is not a recording! Right now, in our deli department, fully-cooked chickens! Come on over and get your chickens! They're hot! They're fresh! And they were alive this morning!
–Pathmark, Cropsey Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Stacy
Announcement over loudspeaker during class: Hello, I'm sorry for the interruption. Mr Poland Spring, you have to go outside, they're about to tow your truck.
–Stuyvesant High School
Loudspeaker: Good afternoon, East Side. Fag football…oops, I mean "flag football" will meet in the cafeteria immediately following advisory.
–East Side Community High School
Guy: I had to yell at her and tell her that she couldn’t be pregnant — I mean, dude, that was last week.
–St. Marks & 3rd Ave
Preggers to male friend: And that asshole came up and body-slammed me on the train platform! Of course, everyone was looking at me like I’m the animal. How can you body-slam a woman who’s seven months pregnant and not feel bad?
–D train
Overheard by: Jannine Ramlochan
Preggers to lady pushing to get to cupcake table: Lady, I am four months pregnant. Getting between me and those cupcakes is a really, really good way to lose an arm.
–Magnolia Bakery
Snotty actress: Oh my gosh, she is such a good writer for my acting type. Her script is so like, like — pregnant with promise.
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Emilia
Girl on phone: No, I can’t have sex with you. Because then if I got pregnant I’d have to be like, ‘Whose baby is it? Well, let’s see — is it black, white, brown…?’
–Grand Central Station
British mother to young son: Do you know what I had to eat when I was pregnant with you, Bill? Buns! Buns! Buns! Buns! That’s why you’re mad about buns. [To daughter] And that’s why you like brown things.
–Varick & King St
Young woman to friends: And she keeps getting pregnant, and I’m like, ‘Stop it, woman!’
–Columbia campus
Overheard by: Cheney
Girl to friend: Whenever I get a really big booger, I feed it to the dog.
–Apartment Building, Midtown
Girl: And the doctor asked if she'd gone down on anyone lately, and she said "yeah, and when I was doing it, all these little bumps kept falling off in my mouth," and the doctor said "you have genital warts in your throat."
–L Train
Overheard by: atrain
Man on cell: And he opened a can of worms, ate the whole thing and then spit it all into his friend's mouth. We were dry heaving. But everyone just looked at us weird.
–1st & 15th
Overheard by: Angela
Preteen boy on cell: (belches) Huh? (belches again, loudly) What did you say? I can't hear you, I'm burping.
–77th & 2nd
Girl to friend: My dad would say, "don't send her chocolate, it makes mucus."
–W 24th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Fred Daubert
Conductor (after a few minutes waiting at signal): One of those trains better hurry it up and move it, I have better things to do.
–N Train
Conductor: Across the platform is an express 3 train. The doors are open, you can make it. Go for it! Go! Catch that train! (after a few stops) There is an express 2 train across the platform. You will make it. You will not miss it. You will make it.
–1 Train
Overheard by: motivated
Cheerful conductor: Welcome to the station formerly known as Prince!
–R Train
Conductor: We are now arriving at Grand Central. This is our final stop. We're six minutes early, so now you can't say anything bad about us.
–Metro North Train
Overheard by: Angela
Conductor: That is a 1 train and all trains are running express. Another local won't run til 5 am Monday. You can wait but we don't serve dinner or breakfast, and I'm all out of sleeping bags.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Steve
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, the train's emergency brakes have been activated for some reason. The train operator is going to walk around the train and check if there's a…body, or something, under the train. After that, we'll be able to move!
–C Train
Overheard by: Patient Passenger
Train conductor: Last call for the 10:00 local…last call! Get on the train cause away we go, and it's 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…blastoff!
–Metro North
Overheard by: to mount kisco, and BEYOND!
Suit #1: Dude, that is disgusting! Did he like it?
Suit #2: He said it tasted like chicken…
Suit #1: Dude!
–33rd & Madison
Overheard by: SUSAN
