(older woman falls and younger woman helps her put on her shoes)
Older woman, surprised: Oh! Wow, thank you so much!
Young lady: Yeah, well… I'm a transplant.
–Columbus Circle
(older woman falls and younger woman helps her put on her shoes)
Older woman, surprised: Oh! Wow, thank you so much!
Young lady: Yeah, well… I'm a transplant.
–Columbus Circle
Man in a thick British accent: There isn’t a town of Leeds in England. I’m from the CITY of Leeds.
— Opening night party for an off-Broadway show in Link
Jamaican girl #1: Well, you know Jesus Christ?
Jamaican girl #2: Yeah, I know him.
Jamaican girl #1: Well, he’s really really nice, ya know? But not everyone likes him…It’s the same thing with you.
Jamaican girl #2: Oh, ok. I understand what you’re saying.
–Uptown D train
Overheard by: EllieB
Girl #1: Yeah, that French kid’s pretty hot.
Girl #2: His butt is like…it’s like a croissant!
Girl #1: Ohmigod, ew. But yeah, it’s true.
–1 train
Local girl: So, how do you like New York?!
Tourist friend, disgusted: Everyone here is ugly and foreign.
–Herald’s Square
Bus-driver in Vancouver: “The BC government recently did a study about fraud on the bus system, and the company they hired concluded that 3% of the riders take advantage of the system. But driving this bus every day, I see that it is really 30-40%. The newspapers say that Canadians are so good but it’s not true!”
Man #1: I was cashing my check in Brighton Beach and this Russian dude almost hit my little brother. So I went and tapped on his window and you know the first thing I did?
Man #2: What’s that?
Man #1: I spit in his mouth. He opened up his mouth and got a mouthful of my spit. Then I started walking away and he got out of his car and was like 6ft 9, all basketball style.
–Nathan’s at Coney Island
Overheard by: Brad Benson
Intercom: Que?
UPS guy: UPS.
Intercom: Que?
UPS guy: UPS.
Intercom: Que?
UPS guy: U. P. S.
Intercom: Que?
* (I am not kidding…this went on for about 3 minutes.)
–Prospect Heights
Overheard by: Stacey duda
British bitch on cell: I’m surrounded by fucking morons who probably struggled through the NYC school system. We all know New Yorkers are the dumbest. They can’t even read. They haven’t had a Latin education and they probably can’t even speak another language…I didn’t want to get a limo to take to the fuckin’ ghettos of Brooklyn. I didn’t want to take a cab because these uneducated people don’t understand directions. I didn’t want to spend $30 and not get to the right place…Please make sure my car gets fixed. I’ve been reduced to the humiliation of taking public transportation. Now the second part of my fucking nightmare begins. I have to take the subway! I’m dressed like a commoner. I didn’t want to wear a $5000 Chanel suit on a seat that hasn’t been cleaned…She’s letting us borrow her castle for our wedding. If they can’t afford to be there, they obviously don’t deserve to come.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Christine
Foreign 7th-grade boy: Where do you live?
Local 7th-grade boy: Harlem, have you ever heard of Harlem?
Foreign boy: No.
Local boy: Do you know McDonald's?
Foreign boy: Yes.
Local boy: That's where Harlem is.
–3 Train
