Indian girl: You see, in Psychology, gay isn’t a disease — you can’t treat gay.
Pakistani guy: Oh, I can treat gay, you watch me.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Surfer Dude #1
Indian girl: You see, in Psychology, gay isn’t a disease — you can’t treat gay.
Pakistani guy: Oh, I can treat gay, you watch me.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Surfer Dude #1
Dude #1: Mike’s always talking about how he has no gag reflex.
Dude #2: Would you let him blow you?
Dude #1: Fuck no, I’m not gay!
Dude #2: Blow jobs don’t have a gender.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: chelsea
Queer #1: Oh my god! I can’t believe you tricked with him! He looks like he’s 70 years old!
Queer #2: Honey, everyone’s the same age when there’s a hand in your ass.
–51st & 9th
Overheard by: Geri AssTrick
Barnard girl #1: Wait, so he broke up with you? What a jerk!
Barnard girl #2: I know, but whatever — it’s his loss.
Barnard girl #1: But did he even tell you why? What a piece of shit.
Barnard girl #2: Well, no. But I think it had something to do with me not liking guys or the fact that I slept with his sister, but he didn’t tell why, exactly.
Barnard girl #1: Um, yeah, okay then.
–118th & Lex
Teen boy: I couldn’t put it all the way in, though.
Teen girl: Ew, ew, ew.
Teen boy: I don’t know how they do that in pornos.
Teen girl: One second — are you gay?
Teen boy: Not really. Like, I’d totally do you.
Teen girl: You wish! Got Jake’s shit all over your dick. Ain’t no way.
–Smiling Pizza, 7th Ave, Park Slope
Headline by: Malingerer
Runners-Up:
· “Bi-curiousity killed the pussy” – Mojosaves
· “Have your jake and eat it too” – teensaredisgusting
· “He called ‘no homo'” – Jedipus
· “He probably couldn’t put it all the way in, because he’s not willing to come all the way out” – Ryan
· “Jake the German Shepherd was extra eager to meet his master that night.” – Adrenna
· “Methinks the lady doth protest too much” – assley
· “The Straw That Brokeback Mountain” – B
· “The shit washes off. The gay? Not so much.” – Sean
· “Then How ’bout a Dirty Sanchez?” – Hobo Whisperer
· “When the front door slams shut, sometimes the back door opens” – steve devan
· “You say tomato, I say hepatitis” – Mark Poepsel
Man #1: How was your weekend?
Man #2: Shitty.
Man #1: Well… When did you first suspect your mother was gay?
Man #2: I don’t wanna talk about it, okay?
–Union Square
NYU girl #1: It’s almost like… a pseudo-lesbian crush… I mean, I don’t wanna touch her or anything.
NYU girl #2: Yeah, I don’t wanna touch her, I just…
NYU girl #1: I just, like, want her to lay in my bed with me and tell stories.
–Washington Square Park
Teen girl #1: So, I heard that this porn star had, like, lung cancer and had to, like, have part of her lung removed.
Teen girl #2: Damn, that sucks. Is she, like, always out of breath?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, and she, like, can’t talk that much either ’cause she can hardly breathe.
Teen girl #2: But isn’t she a porn star? When she like, you know, has an orgasm, how can she make those loud noises? Her career is so over.
Teen girl #1: Maybe she has a ventriloquist.
Teen girl #2: No way. That’d only work if she was a guy and it was gay porn, ’cause, I mean, who’s ever heard of a girl ventriloquist?
–Deli, 42nd St
Headline by: Emilio Lizardo
Runners-Up:
· “And They Called Her Howdy Pooty” – Sean
· “Charlie McCarthy Does Dallas!” – Mary Beth Hanlon
· “How many ‘likes’ does it take to get to another orgasm?” – Maggie Mae
· “I never knew smoking pole could cause lung cancer” – Matt T
· “If Helen Keller did porn” – Em
· “She’s Not Bad, But I Can See Her Lips Moving” – Dan
· “That’s not all she’s faking” – CoolPapaZ
· “Those screeching sounds come from her other set of lips” – Nick. D.
· “You know what else turns me on? Leprosy” – Steve
Queer #1: Get that cab.
Queer #2: We are not taking a cab three blocks.
Queer #1: It’s raining. The hair, the suede jacket.
Queer #3: I know you think we are lazy but it’s all about the hair. If you had any you would do the same.
Queer #2: I hate going out with you two.
Queer #1: You love us.
–In front of XL, Chelsea
Overheard by: Will
Little girl #1: I know what GAP stands for!
Little girls #2, #3 and #4: What?
Little girl #1: ‘Gay and proud,’ duh.
–In front of the GAP , Times Square
Overheard by: Micaela
