Guy (kissing his girl's neck, begging): C'mon baby, please?
Girl: I said “No.”
Guy: Why not?
Girl: Because it gets too messy. I mean, I already have to keep washing all the pillows you cum on. Imagine the mess if I'm on the rag.
–R Train
Overheard by: Kim
White girlfriend to Asian boyfriend intentionally blocking the door: What are you, 12 years old?
Asian boyfriend: Only from the waist down.
–76th & Columbus
Girlfriend: The last thing on the list is pantyhose.
Boyfriend: Pantyhose? I didn't know you wore pantyhose.
Girlfriend: I don't in the summer, because summer is the time to be free and relaxed, but now it's cold and I need to keep warm.
Boyfriend: If you are so free and relaxed in the summer, why are we having sex more now?
Girlfriend: Because now it's cold and I need to keep warm.
–Duane Reade
Thug to girlfriend: Listen, baby, I'm not really lying, fully!
–Ave B & 10th St
Thug: Yo, I wanna go to yoga, son!
–St. Marks Place
Thug: Sometimes I look around and wonder if in my next life I might be a bird.
–1st & 3rd
Overheard by: Angela
Short thug on cell: I'm gonna get you some slippers, mami, so you can show off your feet. Show off your feet. (pause) Show off your feet!
–7th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ladle
Thug to thug friend: Yo, man, you gotta wake up and smell them Arabica beans!
–CVS
Overheard by: freshly brewed.
Thug, yelling to female companion: When you gon' let me show you some dick? When you gon' let me show you some dick? Just let me show you to see if you like it! If not, you can go back to those bitches! At least we'll have something in common!
–7th Ave & 21st St, Brooklyn
Thug, excitedly discussing favorite cold stone flavor: Yo, no homo man! Peanut sensation!
–Downtown D Train
Overheard by: Raven
Chick: Oh, come on. It wouldn’t be anti-Semitic if she told you to take your Stars of David off her Christmas tree.
Boyfriend, under his breath: Fucking shiksa.
–President St & 5th Ave, Park Slope
Thug, quietly to young girlfriend: Get it, get it. (then loudly to woman about to steal the seat) Miss, she's pregnant! Miss, she's pregnant! (to girlfriend) Show her your belly. Nah, just playin, she just fat.
Woman: That's… not nice.
–A Train
Boyfriend, holding DVD: Seriously! It's the best movie ever made!
Girlfriend: How can you even say that?
Boyfriend: Hillary Swank won an Oscar!
Girlfriend: Not for her role in Karate Kid 2!
–F Train
Overheard by: smo
Girlfriend: But why did he buy two Mexican wrestling masks?
Boyfriend: I mean, probably to wear during sex.
Girlfriend: Ew, really?
Boyfriend: Well, yeah. Or to wear while beating off.
Girlfriend: Ew. Like, while looking in the mirror?
Boyfriend: No.
–6th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: aclare
Girl: He comes home from work and immediately drinks about four or five Coronas. I mean, I know he’s Swedish and they look at alcohol differently in Europe, but come on! Four or five all at once? I’m like, hey, isn’t that a little much?
–7th Avenue & West 29th Street
Boyfriend: Well, what cup size are you?
Girlfriend: I'm like an A and a half and a B and a half…it sucks.
Boyfriend: So…that's a full AB plus one.
Girlfriend: You know you can't combine unlike terms!
–32nd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Kimberly
