Girl: How come music downloads here cost $1 and they cost $0.10 in Europe?
Guy: Because anything that makes sense can’t happen in America any more.
Girl: Fair enough.
–86th & 1st
Girl: How come music downloads here cost $1 and they cost $0.10 in Europe?
Guy: Because anything that makes sense can’t happen in America any more.
Girl: Fair enough.
–86th & 1st
Runner chick #1: What the hell are those people doing?
Runner chick #2: They’re in some sort of boot camp class.
Runner chick #1: They’re military?
Runner chick #2: No, I think they just pay someone to get them in shape.
Runner chick #1: But they’re so sweaty and out of breath! I never get that way with my trainer!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Peter
Teen girl: Yeah, and then I woke up in a pool of his vomit. It was awesome.
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: SammyCat
Construction worker on cell: Yeah, she walked right in…Man, I was friggin’ jerking off!…No. She stayed and watched…Of course I’m calling her again.
–53rd & Lexington
Man on cell: She and I both got diarrhea at 11:00 exactly. I mean, we’re like E.T. and Elliot.
–20th & 5th
Girl on cell: I’m telling you, watching my boyfriend get head was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen!
–F train
Overheard by: seraphina
Guy #1: Frank was sneezing so loud I could hear him all the way inside.
Girl: Well, that explains the frown on the back of your face.
Guy #2: Do you even have a back of your face?
–Chambers Street station
Overheard by: James Q Wilson
Teenage girl #1: My dad is so weird. He like, listens to albums where people wear blackface.
Teenage girl #2: Is he, like, a Nazi?
Teenage girl #1: No, he grew up in the South.
–Ceci-Cela, Chambers Street
Overheard by: Jon Edelman
Guy: Aww shit. I didn’t even smoke this morning.
Girl: Can you smoke at work?
Guy: Naw.
Girl: What about at lunch?
Guy: Naw. I don’t want to be all, “Hey man, what’s up?” after lunch.
–L train
Overheard by: Matt Ferrin
Girl: Your breath is stinky.
Guy: Please. My breath is so fresh they should name a mint after it.
Girl: How about excre-mint?
–56th & 1st
Girl #1: I just got a membership at Carnegie Hall.
Girl #2: You should get a membership to the gym.
Girl #1: But this is like a workout…for my soul.
–Lexington & 53rd
Hobo: Hello, ladies and gentlemen! How are you all today? My name is Sonny Payne–
Teen girl: And you’re just a Payne in the ass!
–F train
Overheard by: Nicole A.
Hobo: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen–
Woman: Ah God, I can’t take it this early.
–9 train
Tourist chick: Yeah, I like New York, but I could never live here.
Salesguy: Yeah…
Tourist chick: But I mean I love the West Village.
Salesperson: Totally…
Tourist chick: It’s just like so expensive to live here.
Cashier guy: That’ll be $407 please.
–Jack Spade, Greene Street
Overheard by: Quirine
