Chick: It freaks me out to walk around on top of, like, six feet of concrete with these trains underneath, but at least we don’t have to worry about zombies attacking.
Guy: What does anything have to do with zombies?
Chick: Zombies can’t walk on hollow ground, like graveyards and stuff.
Guy: That’s ‘hallow.’ As in ‘holy.’
–1 train, 116th St
Overheard by: Trying not to laugh…
Random guy: So, where you from?
Hot chick: Oh, up north. Florida.
Random guy: Wait. I thought Florida was in the Midwest.
–Subway B
Teenage girl, running up to two friends from behind: Molly! And Kaya!
Molly or Kaya: Oh, Bren! Are you coming to Starbucks?
Bren: No, I have to go get that cancer vaccination! Right now!
–Prince & Spring
Girl: Okay, so how many of the people here do you think have noticed that we’re high?
Guy: Mmmm, five of them.
Girl: There are only five people in the store.
Guy: Then… All of them.
–Lafayette
Girl: What kind of movie do you suggest?
Gay employee: Oh, a romantic comedy.
Girl: That’s gay.
Gay employee: I know!
–Lowes on Broadway
Overheard by: B
Mom: They had a big mansion over yonder.
Girl: In Yonkers?
Mom: No, over yonder.
Girl: Where's yonder?
–Hanson Place & Atlantic Avenue, Brooklyn
Overheard by: harley spiller
Chick: It’s the biggest Wal-Mart in Arkansas. That’s their claim to fame.
–Tennessee Mountain, SoHo
Girl: Why do you fuck a sheep at the edge of a cliff? (waits) So the sheep pushes back.
Guy: I don't get it.
Girl: Do I have to explain sheep-fucking to you?!
–Prince & Mercer
Overheard by: Thiess
Guy #1: Aw, man, have you seen March of the Penguins? That movie was horrible. Couldn’t get through it.
Girl: I saw that. I got double-banged to it… I kinda like getting double-banged by two attractive guys, y’know? [Men stop walking and look at each other.]Guy #2: Dude, that’s gross. I’m gonna have to ask you to leave. Wow.
–70th & 2nd
Local girl: So, how do you like New York?!
Tourist friend, disgusted: Everyone here is ugly and foreign.
–Herald’s Square
